relaxed

ok, so i am typing one-handed as my baby sleeps on my chest. today my goal is to stay relaxed and not find weird baby stuff to get paranoid about. i'm only doing ok at meeting this goal. i have been concerned that i have an overabundant milk supply that causes sam to take in too much milk and cough and stop feeding. not sure if this is really the case but it seems possible. anyway, i have been changing feeding to do two consecutive feedings on one side and then switch to the other and i think that might be helping. it will probably regulate itself in a day or two, at least that's what i think i've read. we'll see.

the past few days sam is nice and quiet in the morning and we do a routine of sleep, feed, awake, and back again. in the afternoon he gets a little fussier and i can't always tell what he needs. the feeding on demand is confusing, but i guess he will just eat when he wants to eat. today he cried at the end of a feeding though, so that was distressing. don't know if it's because of the milk thing i talked about above, or a gas bubble, or maybe i just didn't notice earlier signs that he wanted to get up and do something else. with the feeding on demand it seems he is eating an awful lot, but i suppose that is also because he is awake more now, cries a bit more, and as a result i check to see if he wants to eat. i don't think he's ever refused the opportunity to eat. aaron and i are trying to decide if we want to go ahead and invest in the fancy breast pump now. i could start pumping and then aaron could feed too. i don't mind doing the feedings though, now that it doesn't hurt. but at least i would know if his problems were due to my breasts or not, and if we're gonna have to do the bottle thing anyway since i'll be going back to work, hopefully, then maybe we should just start now. i don't know...hmmm. well i guess i'll wait a little while longer.

today i am feeling much better, as though i am actually finally healing. I have some pain, but i also have more energy and the swelling is virtually non-existent.

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