in the dream we are at the hospital where jim, his wife, and babies are (jim is aaron's friend from HS who just had premature twins last month and they are still in the nicu unit doing well!). aaron is off somewhere doing something i don't know, and i go to the nicu unit to see the babies. i get there and it's just jim & his wife and the unit is filled with dogs and cats and their babies in incubators. they don't notice me so finally i say hello and jim says hi and is acting a little weird and then says he's sorry he hasn't been in touch and that he was acting that way because he thought i was mad at him (mind you jim is aaron's friend so it would be really weird for me to have a reason to be mad at him). i asked him why i would be mad at him and he said because he didn't follow through on that "fund raising thing". i told him i didn't know what he was talking about and that i was certainly not mad at him. he said "oh great!" and gave me a big hug (i don't know that i've ever hugged jim). he then proceeded to tell me about his "research" which is what he was doing in the nicu unit with all of those animals. there was a black cat with crayon-colored blue, green, and orange stripes. i guess this was his project. i told him aaron was here with our new son sam but i didn't know where they'd run off to.
don't know how it transitioned, but the next part of the dream gets weirder. aaron and i were traveling to detroit to meet up with my aunt and uncle (i don't have an aunt and uncle who live in detroit) and my dad and brother are going there too. we get there, and the house is like this communal childcare place. there are women with children filling the place -- the babies all swaddled in receiving blankets. i had brought a pack of diapers and noticed someone else was using my diapers. i asked my aunt about it, she said if i wasn't comfortable with that then maybe this wasn't the place for me. i tried to explain that i hadn't come to join the commune, but that i was just here to visit with family! i wanted to leave. i talked to this one woman whose child had scrapes all down the front of him. she basically said it was out of her control and just too overwhelming. i tried to find sam. i kept thinking that one of the swaddled bundled was him, but upon closer inspection it wasn't. none of them were. i couldn't find my son. i went to find aaron who was in another room with my dad and brother and there was a tv on. aaron was sound asleep i tried to wake him but he wouldn't wake up. i shook him pretty hard and finally he awoke. he was all frazzled and upset that i woke him. i tried to explain how we had to leave but he said he was just too tired and way too tired to drive so i should have just let him sleep. i apologized but he was still being all weird and half-asleep. he started sucking on my earlobe and i said "hey, my dad is in the room!" and he unlatched and then started making these baby faces and latched onto my nose and started sucking away and i couldn't breathe.
i woke up.
today i have been taking it easy. the extra bleeding yesterday freaked me out so i'm spending the day in bed and on the couch. things seem to be healing but i still need to remain patient. we are having a nice visit with sarah, i hope she isn't too bored with my lack of mobility! but it's been great to have some real leisure time.
i do find that my lack of physical activity has the worry center of my brain running overdrive and i'm constantly trying to find something to worry about. currently: burping. i can't do it. it's awkward, seems uncomfortable for the little man, and sometimes is uncomfortable for my healing body. i have gotten a couple of burps, but not a lot, and i don't spend much time trying. should i spend more? how much time should i spend burping my baby between breasts and after feeding? breastfed babies don't get as much gas, so maybe he just doesn't have to burp? he has spit up a couple of times, but not a lot. hmmm...
more pics from this weekend:
2 comments:
first of all, you are such a beauty. pregnant, tired, smiling, serious... beautiful.
second, sam is also beautiful.
third, i went for a month or something without hardly ever burping Asher. i just didn't know about it. one day I was nursing with a friend of mine and she mentioned something about burping and I thought, "oh yeah - i guess I should do that". from that point forward I always burped between breasts, but it seemed more of a formality then anything else. my little advice: give Sam a chance to burp between breasts and after, but don't be surprised if he doesn't need it.
Elise never seemed to need much burping. I think it's less of a necessity with breastfed babies. But a good way to do it is to put the baby facedown over your knees, so that his feet are towards your stomach and his head is hanging off your knees (this might be easier for Aaron right now). You just support his head with one hand and pat his back or bottom with the other. It always seemed to elicit better burps than the baby on the shoulder thing.
And healing will take awhile. I just had a first degree tear and it just takes time and patience. Much easier to say now than then :)
You guys all look great and he's so cute!
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