On the road to recovery

So I woke up after a four-hour sleep session to my crying hungry baby. There is such a sense of urgency and panic when I wake to this. Especially since my baby log (where I note feedings, diaper changes, and my pill intake) didn't note my 1:00 am feeding so for a moment I thought the little guy had gone ALL night without food!! My breasts were engorged again, so I was sure the lack of feeding had caused them to swell up. How could I be so cruel!! Anyway I realized I just forgot to write the feeding down and that if my baby were hungry and deprived he would let me know, so I just had to worry about the engorgement. I took a warm shower and had a sort of long lazy morning in and out of sleep. We were feeding fairly successfully despite the engorgement, but things did hurt. Finally after a feeding I took a shower and expressed some milk and felt relief. By mid afternoon I was no longer engorged. Also, I had been alternating breasts during feedings by timing since that's what the nurses had me do with the colostrum to make sure my milk came in alright. This had been working ok, but resulted in a lot of unlatching and relatching and confused timing and wondering if I'd been even on both breasts, etc etc. I read that it's better to let him drain the first breast, then go to the second and then next feeding pick up with the second. This way he's sure to get more of the hindmilk. There are two kinds of milk: foremilk and hindmilk. The foremilk is watery and the hindmilk has the fatty good stuff. The way I was feeding him was giving him far more foremilk and maybe not enough hindmilk. So I am now trying to watch his cues for when to switch. Sure enough, he unlatches when he feels he's done, and if he wants more, he will relatch. This I think aided in the engorgement problem, and according to this info I just read, it makes a lot of sense too: http://www.breastfeed-essentials.com/toomuchmilk.html
I was worried because one time he just took one breast and that was it, but I guess that's completely normal. Sometimes you're hungrier than other times, after all. Plus it was probably one of the few times he got to have his fill of the heavier hindmilk. Anyway, hopefully my revised technique will keep me from further engorgement, even if I end up with uneven boobs.

My nipples are still sore at times, but I can identify I bad latch much quicker now and don't have to suffer quite as much. The chapped spots are healing nicely too. When I have a good latch there is a little pain at first but the rest of the feeding is indeed painless, there is just a feeling of tension, so I'm excited that the breast feeding thing is going well.

Sarah is still visiting and I hope the quiet time is not too dull for her. She has been a nice help around the house and is getting a chance to get comfy with her nephew. She even took me out of the house today!! We went to Target and I bought myself some new duds, as well as a big ol' box of diapers. (We intend to do cloth diapers but while we are getting accustomed to all this new stuff we are using disposable.) The whole time I anxiously bugged Sarah about the time to make sure we weren't late getting home. I wasn't that nervous about leaving Sam home with Aaron, but I wanted to be there as soon as they needed me. It felt good to get out -- like I wasn't sick or something -- even if I walk a little funny and feel a little uncomfortable.

When we got home we took a little walk in the yard -- the garden is insane. The pumpkin plants are really taking over the whole backyard! When I got back in I was feeling kind of funky. I fed the little one and then had a lot of bleeding. My lochia has lightened up a lot and hasn't been much, so this bleeding really freaked me out. I decided to lie down and sleep for a while. I think it isn't so heavy now, and I read that if the bleeding comes back like that, it could just mean I need more rest. Or it could be something serious. eek. But I'm guessing it was just the activity and I'll take it easy and watch the bleeding and just see. Hmmm.

Shortly after the blood scare Sam had some wicked gas with a liquid stool. Usually his poo doesn't smell at all since he's breastfed, so the rotten egg gas was a little disturbing. Soon my mind was traveling to bad places, thinking that something had opened or hemorrhaged and that something I was eating or how I was feeding was not giving Sam what he needed. After his next feeding though, Aaron found out that the smell might even just be from the iron supplement they have me on and isn't a big deal, and my bleeding waned, so I am getting myself to calm down. It's hard though once the concern finds a little place to camp out in your brain.

Anyway, it still seems I'm on the road to recovery, even if I hit a few bumps along the way. I will go to bed soon and spend more of the day off my feet tomorrow. I get restless, but I'd rather heal.