ARIZONA!!

I am at the Phoenix airport. We got here entirely too early and Sam and Aaron are off burning off some energy while I take advantage of the free wifi. Hopefully I won't use up too much battery power so we can watch movies on the plane if need be.

Sam did a great job on the flight out. I was so impressed! But aren't I always impressed with that kiddo. We have a stop in Salt Lake City each way, and Sam got pretty antsy towards the end of that first flight (Indy to Salt Lake), but he slept for pretty much the entire second flight (even though it was short).

So, all in all, traveling with a toddler is way more doable than I first anticipated. I hope I'm not jinxing our return trip!! We had only a few minor melt downs since we all but skipped nap time and attempted to keep him on nature trails instead of running off and, you know, falling into the Grand Canyon or something. We saw real sun and felt real warmth and saw cactus and a lizard. But most importantly we had a great time with our good friends Ingrid and Tain. Plus they have two kitties that Sam fell deeply in love with. So much so that Sam says "wow wow" for "meow" when he wants to see the kitties, and even says "litties!" to ask for cats! The cats of course were scared of him and Sam was so disappointed that they were playing "hard to get". He also really took to Ingrid and Tain and even started to say Ingrid's name (Ingy!).

The landscape here is beautiful and it was definitely great to get away from Indiana.

Now for some pics!!

I called.

So I called the doctor and got the referral to First Steps, the state-sponsored early intervention program that is there to assist children with developmental delays. Yikes.

Why does it feel so creepy? It feels all government invasiony. Like they are saying "You can't take care of your children. You can't raise them right. You messed up. The government is stepping in."
I realize that's a stupid way to look at it.

I called because all of the literature I read says don't ignore this. I called because I think he's fine, but WHAT IF there is something going on and I completely ignored the signs.

I'm taking this personally. Completely and totally personally. And I'm probably overreacting. I mean, I am overreacting. Sigh.

It's especially weird because they want to come into your HOME. They want to see your kid in his normal environment. This makes total sense. He is different at home than he is out and about. But when they are assessing and they are in your home, are they assessing your home? Are they assessing the two big dogs that bark and jump when someone comes to the door? Are they assessing the size of our home? Are they assessing the cleanliness? Are they assessing the books we have for him? The toys? The food we have visible on kitchen shelves and counters? The answer is YES. Of course they are!! Not always intentionally, but that context undoubtedly affects perception of the experience.

Bah.
I'm just having a weird day and this makes me feel even weirder.

I compiled another list of Sam's words. But I think he took it into his room and he's sleeping now. Maybe I'll start another one here...

Words Sam says with his voice:
Mom
Clyde
Daddy
Go (variations: Gotta Go and Go Dog Go)
Ball
Balloo (for Balloon)
Bee (for Baby)
Bambow (rainbow -- used seldomly)
Hello
Bye
Lady
Pinch
Cake

Sounds that mean things but aren't necessarily classified as normal words:
Uh-Oh
Who-Who (to listen to the who)
Panting to refer to dog (also considered sign)
Ba-ba-ba (to listen to Barbara Ann)
Boom Boom! (The Wonderful Sounds Mr. Brown Can Do)
Lalalala (singing the song in the Disney Little Golden Book version of the Three Little Pigs)

Words Sam signs:
Waves Hello/Goodbye
Milk
Orange
Bread
Banana
Apple
Cake
Cookie
Cheese
Water/Thirsty (does the water sign when he's thirsty)
Hungry
Sleep
Bath
Bubbles
Shoes
Fort (he made that one up)
Aunt Meg (he based that off of something Juan did)
Dog (panting)
Ball
Baby
Help
Book
Brush Teeth
Wash Hands
Put that down/Stop what you are doing/Throw that away (he made this up)
Tickle
Rain (dipple dipple dop/wonderful sounds mr. brown can do)
Hug
Diaper
Monster


I just keep thinking -- did I do something wrong? AM I DOING something wrong? Do I not talk to him enough? Do I not make sounds with him enough?

And then I keep thinking -- ok, early intervention is important. I should not ignore any signs that could potentially indicate there is a developmental delay. But really -- I am constantly hearing about little boys who didn't talk until they were two or even three. We all have our own timelines. Am I trying to force my son into some conventional notion of what a child *should* be doing? A child who is obviously thriving and developing at what appears to me to be a phenomenal rate? A child who is learning new things everyday, and capable of so much? After all my getting over watching milestones, I am now unable to avoid them.

In other news, I am clearly trying to figure out what my next project is. I am settling into my job. I have some time on my hands. I feel totally over doing art. I feel pretty confident that teaching is not for me (though I think I will be teaching a class this summer). What's next?

I really want to buy a house and play house. I want to settle in and make a space for myself. Of course, the quickly expiring $8000 tax credit is a bit of an incentive. But we don't have any money. And we don't really want to settle here. Do we? No, we don't. But I have a job I like. And we were already living here for five years (!!) what if we end up living here for another five?

Oh me. Oh my.

Well, at least the sun has started to come out. That makes a world of difference to the spirit. Sunshine, lollipops, rainbows, and whatever. Err. Bambows, I mean.

Bloggin

Here is a blog entry.

Let's see. Not much to say. This week I did some socializing with friends which I must say is a rare occasion for me as of late. Super fun! I got caught up in dreaming of buying a house after learning about the $8000 tax credit, but alas we are not in any position to commit to such a thing (and who knows if we could really afford it anyway). The weather has improved a ton and I've been able to take Sam out to play. That last thing is HUGE. We get so tired of being cooped up all day.

Work is good. It has settled down but then as soon as I think I've got the rhythm, it seems there are all sorts of things I underestimated or missed or didn't know about and I end up feeling a little swamped. But at least it keeps me active. I'm like almost certain that I don't want to be a professor, by the way, though I will be teaching another course over the summer (well it seems I will be, you never know what happens at the last minute).

Sam is doing great. Having fun. Talking more, but not a lot. I'm gonna have to call the doctor this week just to ease my mind. If she gives us the referral then fine, I just don't want to feel like I intentionally didn't pursue this for some reason.

Cooking and grocery shopping has been a success. I am embarking on week two of planned meals and organized grocery trips. We are spending less and eating better. Though I guess it has been more work.

We go to Arizona a week from tomorrow! Exciting!

This blog is rather dull these days. No insightful comments, and total lack of photos. I'll try to improve in one of those categories.

Til then... this is what you get. Ha ha. Enjoy.

updates and such

I am settling into my semester. I have actual down time now. So nice. I have been reading novels. How cool is that -- I have *some* time to read novels. Well I probably should be doing chores or something productive, but reading is good. Anyway, I haven't grabbed many good ones from the library, so recommendations are welcome!

So what's new in our world?
Not a whole lot...

Vacation
Going to Arizona in two weeks to visit Tain and Ingrid!! So excited for that. This will be Sam's first time on a plane, so suggestions on how to take a toddler on a plane (we did not get him his own seat), are welcome. I'm not too worried. I know there is a good chance I'll get stressed out, and that Sam will feel weird and cry and feel antsy and annoy people. But Sam likes new environments and usually his first take on a new experience is to be rather reserved and quiet, so here's hoping.

Sleep
Sam remains as fun as ever. He is growing into a little boy. So fun to see. His sleep has improved incredibly over the past month. Last week there was a night where he slept 10 hours in his crib. 10 hours!! This is not yet the regular, but it does show that it's coming. Our routines have been fluctuating a bit though. Sometimes he does one big nap in the afternoon. Lately he stays up too late, has a morning nap, and a late afternoon nap, which is a little weird. But then we've had the good night sleep so maybe it's the preferable schedule. Today was like that, with the shorter early nap, but then we missed the second nap so he got to bed "early" which really was like normal bed time (8:30). We'll see how long he sleeps. There are too many factors to be able to really tell what makes some nights good sleep nights and other nights not. But even now when he wakes (without going back to sleep on his own) we bring him to our bed and he goes right to sleep. If he wakes while sleeping with us, he usually tosses and turns for a moment then gets right back to sleep. So this means after 20 months, I'm getting fairly normal sleep again! I would say Aaron is too, but he's in grad school, so he takes sleeping time as work time.

Job
I'm really liking my job. It was weird to not think about it or go work over the weekend. But that's good. I need to get used to that. It means that my job won't be so demanding now, which is great. And I think I've really been able to keep my work *pretty much* to 20 hrs/wk, not too much more. Now that I'm settling in maybe I'll get a chance to improve some overall procedure things. That would be great.

Food
I have been so uninterested in food lately. I think we eat cereal and pizza, some soup, some pasta. And that's like it. I've been trying to go vegetarian again, and I'm far too lazy (overworked?? ...excuses excuses) to prepare healthy filling vegetarian fare, so we end up with grains grains and more grains. And processed ones too. And cheese. Too much cheese. Or we just go out. Which is happening too frequently. And I go to the grocery store like three times a week because when I go I'm just going to get whatever necessity we ran out of and I'm not planning ahead. Of course I also just to get Sam and I out of the house, since most days are still too cold to play outside. But that's a different topic...SO I made a schedule. A Monday night is soup-night kind of schedule. A little silly. We'll see if it works, but so far so good. I was able to keep my groceries $20 less than my allotted budget and I think I have plenty of food for the week. I'm also going to try to start documenting my meals on my blog in attempt to get somewhat interested in cooking and eating food. That's not really fair, 'cause I always like eating food, and sometimes I like cooking it, but this winter has zapped a lot of enthusiasm for everything.


Anyway, tonight, being Monday, was soup night. And I made french onion soup for the first time ever. It was ok. Chopping all those onions was not my favorite. I did a recipe where you have to cook the onions in the oven first, then move to the stove, and I don't have a dutch oven. So I cooked them in some corningware and then transferred them to a hot pot on the stove. But my pot was too hot. When I poured the onions in I filled the room with smoke. I had to open the doors and take the pot out to the porch too cool and air out so that I wouldnt' set off the fire alarm. When it had calmed down and I brought it back into the kitchen, Sam delivered a very well-timed "uh-oh". He's so funny. So then after tasting the soup I thought it was really lackluster. But after getting it back into the oven with some cheese (parmesan since I didn't have guyere) and croutons, it turned out pretty darn good. I did add some more butter though. Because it needed that richness. Anyway, here are some pics.

Cute Sam
Today was library day. So fun. Sam is the star. Or the class clown. Or something. But I am looking at it through a mother's eyes, so you never can tell the truth. But he stands front and center and responds to the "teacher" and makes sounds and laughs and claps and shrieks and all the parents laugh at his cuteness. And he's getting so much more comfortable with other kids. He hands them toys and pats their back and waves hello. He did tease one little girl by offering a toy and then refusing to actually give it to her. He does this with dog treats for the dogs every once in a while too. Not sure what he's thinking. Most times he just gives it to them. He also showed his super sensitive side -- when a little girl was crying he was very worried and concerned. Sam when a boy he knew tripped and fell kind of hard; the boy didn't cry but Sam was definitely concerned. And when that boy would stray from his mama, he would see him across the room, look to his mom and then point at the boy. He didn't want her to lose him, I guess. Haha.

Another cute thing I don't think I've ever written about -- Sam tells stories. Maybe I did mention this the first time he did it. If he falls, or trips, or bangs something, he always tells us what happened. he says "ooowww" and scrunches up his face, touching the part that hurts. When we come over and ask if he's ok/what happened, he points to the bumped spot and then to whatever hit him, or reenacts it depending on the event. It's cute and funny.

Ok, that's enough posting about how I think my son is cute.


*sorry for the lack of photos. I tried to upload them but comcast is being awful. stupid comcast.