Sam is growing up faster and faster. In size he's relatively the same. Still big and round but not growing at the fast pace he had been. His feet are getting bigger though, which is good since he will have to stand and walk at some point. He now can move around the living room, holding on to the furniture, and when he gets to the end he raises his arm for me to come get him. It's cute. Tonight he also started trying to push up to his feet in the middle of the floor doing this tabletop sort of move, so that's funny. He has toppled over a couple of times, but nothing serious yet. He is always on the go. He walks on his tip-toes. I think maybe because he started walking in this walker where he could only touch the ground with his toes. Hopefully that won't make walking too hard for him.
I am so much more appreciative of my stay-at-home-mom status than I had been before my teaching job. Of course, I am more comfortable being a mom now so it's a little easier I guess. My days are very much housewife/mother stuff. I take care of Sam, I do laundry, dishes, sweep...There are more chores I should get to though and right now there are dishes and laundry that could be done... Sam and I have definitely found our rhythms and it's funny how much easier it is when you have a schedule. Of course, our schedule is easily disrupted if we don't get to nap time on time. If we don't start his nap on time, he probably won't nap, and then night sleep is thrown off and the next day is off and all of that. So even if we have a schedule I have to remain flexible. But I'm less complainy because I'm just happy to be able to do what I want to do -- be home with my son.
I still worry, of course. Oh, about everything I guess. Some thoughts currently in my head:
I don't know how to wean him. I don't know when to wean him. He is coming up on a year. I never thought I would nurse longer than that. But now I don't know. I suppose I will stop daytime nursing. Stopping nighttime nursing sounds hard though. I think most of my readers nursed beyond the year mark, right? Any thoughts? Of course I do resort to the boob as means of calming pretty quickly simply because I know it works...there may be plenty of other ways to lull the guy into a sleepy state and calm midnight wakes....
Birthday cake. Anybody have any good baby's first birthday cake recipes?? I'm not all that uptight about the guy having sugar, but I'm sure there's a healthier in-between and I know some of you are definite foodies...
And of course I still just don't know what to do in my professional life. The thing is, this whole mom thing is pretty all-encompassing. Right now, I don't feel a need to pursue a career to make my days meaningful or interesting. Really, paid employment feels just like that -- a means of getting paid. However, I don't want work to be just that. I want it to be more. And I absolutely hate that I'm still dealing with this at the cusp of 30. I don't think I have the drive and motivation (dare I say skill, talent, ability) to gain financially from my artwork, and that doesn't really bother me since I don't really care about my art right now. Really, right now I'm just pretty into being a mom. In the next couple of weeks I'm going to an info session about the nursing program at the local community college. I know it's not a great profession to pursue just because of practicality, but I figure a little more information can't hurt.
Oh, and I told myself that once I lost my pregnancy weight I wasn't allowed to think of myself as fat. But, I'm feeling extra blubbery these days. Pregnancy has definitely left me with a little extra in the love-handle/muffin-top region, and I do indeed have a tummy, though I always have. But really, I'm eating tons of sweets and since I'm home all the time I'm munching all the time, and I'm not getting enough exercise...if I get myself doing that stuff I'd probably feel better all around. In general, though, becoming a mom has done wonders for my body image. Even if my body is not all it could be, I am so much more forgiving of it. So that's cool.
Well, I guess I'll end here. Oh, here are some pics of more summer fun stuff...
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