Well, here is another post without pictures. Perhaps it's good not to take hundreds of photos of my child every week.
Things have been a little bumpy as the semester draws to an end, but I think that I've made it over the big bumps so it's relatively smooth sailing from here on out. I have a little more grading to do over the weekend, a little file organization, and then I have to submit grades on Monday. Then it's all over. Phew!
Though the unemployment makes me a little wary, I am certainly looking forward to the new schedule and new routines. I'm pretty committed to pursuing my creative projects as a means of income, and that's really exciting. Even if I fail, I'm no worse off. More on that will come once some plans and ideas start to become reality.
In one week we will be seeing some of you in Ann Arbor! Yipee! It's been such a long time since I've been there, so I'm really looking forward to it. And my sister's boyfriend just bought a new house! So we get to see their new place and I'm quite excited about that. Sam's sleep has been rough, and so far every over night visit comes with at least one night of restless sleep, with Sam waking every hour, so that's yet another thing to look forward to!!
So, it's been a while, how about some ramblings on sleep!!
I am completely and utterly torn about how much a parent has control over their child's behavior. I imagine I will continue to contemplate this issue for the next, well, forever since I will now forever be a parent.
I should begin a sleep routine. I should. Now that my routine is done. But. We are going out of town next weekend. That can throw it all off. So I guess I should wait until after that. Right? What sleep routines have worked for you guys?
We are not without sleep. We are just not with constant or consistent sleep. Sam probably sleeps almost the recommended 14 hrs day -- usually around 11 hours at night and two or more hours in the form of two naps. But at night, Sam often wakes every three hours or more. He now CANNOT fall asleep without us there to comfort him. He now basically NEVER sleeps in his crib. He is either in our arms, on the couch with us, or in our bed. If we try to put him to bed in his crib either awake or asleep, he almost IMMEDIATELY rolls to his tummy, props himself up, and starts sobbing. So sometimes we try flipping him over, calming him down, and then as soon as we leave he rolls back over, props himself up, and starts sobbing again. I don't know how long we've waited. For those of you without kids, waiting while your child cries is just excruciating. Time all but stops. Five minutes feels like five hours. So, I can say I have tried to let him calm down on his own, but it never seems to work. Have I waited long enough?? I don't know. But I know I've waited 20 minutes. I *think* I've waited longer and I guess people wait much longer. I don't think it's cruel, but I sure can't seem to bring myself to do it. And so far I haven't seen any benefit to it since I'm so inconsistent so it just must seem like random abandonment.
See, back when Sam was about five or six months old, he could "self sooth". He would cry a bit, I'd go in and say everythign was ok. He'd cry a bit more and go to sleep. He didn't STAY asleep for extremely long periods, but he was going 3-5 hours every night, and sometimes more, so I really had no complaints. Often if he did wake, Aaron could just go quietly calm him with the pacifier and he'd easily drift back to sleep. Not anymore. If he wakes and we aren't there, there is hell to pay.
I think the tough sleep started when I went back to work and he started to get his teeth. We didn't force a good nighttime routine, and he was in pain. Bad combination. So, here we are, with our 10 month old who really cannot sleep alone.
And you know what? Part of me doesn't care. I now feel an emptiness when I sleep without him there, and I love sharing that time and closeness together. I don't live on a daily routine and I don't want to. I'm not entirely convinced that people really do "thrive" on routine. I'm not convinced that babies shouldn't need their mothers through the night. But am I just making excuses to go with what seems to be easiest? I do that a lot. But is this really easiest?
The other part of me gets so scared that I'm not helping my son to develop good sleep habits and that he will be plagued by sleep troubles for the rest of his life. And this part also gets overwhelmed when the boy won't go to sleep so that I can have some of my own time at night. (oh, side note: when i get frustrated at Sam because, well, ok, i can have a temper sometimes, i have taken to making funny faces at him or making funny screams -- often sam just finds this entertaining and humorous -- sometimes he laughs even, which makes me laugh -- great way to defuse the temper!!).
Well it seems EVERYONE swears by routine for sleep. Young or old. Routine helps troubled sleep. SO with my change of schedule I need to get on a routine. Wish me luck. Let me know what routines work for you. I am still not convinced that it will work, but I can't knock it until I've tried it. How long do I have to keep at it before I get to give up?? (there's the wrong starting attitude, huh?)
PS
I do have some questions about how to do this. I should actually read some sleep advice books. Sam is a good napper, for example, but he naps at various times of the day based on however our day ends up being. If you enforce specific nap times, how do you start it? It must be a weird transition...because I assume just because I pick a time for nap he won't necessarily want to sleep during that time. And do you wake them when they "should" be awake? One mom suggested that.
PPS
And another thing, some parents of multiple children swear it's just the personality of the child -- some are easy sleepers, some aren't. But then I must stay that I haven't met any parent who sticks by a pretty rigid routine who has a baby who DOESN'T sleep well. But then again, if your baby doesn't sleep well despite your efforts to keep a routine...wouldn't you ditch the routine? I would...
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