Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Sleep or lack thereof

So the routine WAS working great, and I think it probably sort of still is. It's great in that he goes to sleep, easy without much fuss if any at all. BUT he might wake even an hour later. I have talked with many a parent about this and it seems like a lot of them have been in my shoes. Of course, those parents of needy children also have had 4 year olds who still sleep in mom & dad's bed, and one even has a 9 year old who sneaks into mom & dad's bedroom to sleep in a sleeping bag next to their bed (since she was simply too big to fit in the bed any longer), so I dunno what to think about that.

I get mad at all the doctors saying this and that about sleep as though there is a formula I can and should be following to get my son to sleep. Because I SWEAR I'm trying it but it isn't working so I guess I haven't found THE formula. I like the doc I found who claimed that you shouldn't pick up your crying infant when he's crying in his crib, you simply stand next to him, and sooth him by rubbing his back or belly and this will sooth even the "most upset child" or something like that. WHA? Has he met the most upset child? I guess not. Does that guy even have kids? Maybe not.

Well, I really don't think I'm doing EVERYthing I am supposed to be doing to get him sleeping well. And I also wonder whether I missed my opportunity for creating "good" sleep habits?

I don't know. Last night he went down to sleep, and at one waking point I was watching a movie with Meg and the movie was almost over so instead of stopping it or missing the rest of it soothing him in his room for 15 or 20 minutes, I brought him out to the couch. He stayed awake for a good hour or more. This has really thrown off the routine. He woke at 8:00 this morning, barely napped, took a long nap in his bouncy chair (which he must be nearing the weight limit for) right before his "usual" bed time, and when Aaron tried to move him to his crib, he started crying and would not relax. Sigh. So I tried to get into nighttime routine because I just know he's exhausted but it wasn't really working and I am starting to question the value of said nighttime routine because it takes a while and he just wakes an hour later.

I'm pretty sure this is a phase and am starting to wonder if I should just ride it out instead of trying to fight it?

I do know that I'm getting more and more tired every day so I'm going to have to start finding time for me to sleep even if he's not. Ha!

Well, at present, he's sitting quietly in his bouncer as I type in the dark. Maybe I should go try to get him to sleep in his crib. Sigh.

2 comments:

AstroYoga said...

I am almost afraid to comment because we have been REALLY lucky when it comes to sleep - though I don't claim that it has anything to do with me. I have a sneaking suspicion that I have a baby who loves sleeping.

She did used to cry a lot at bed time though, and we tried some stuff that helped. The most important was timing - if I can catch just when she is starting to get tired, there is a lot less crying.

I also tried a technique from the lady who writes the "Baby Whisperer" series. First, my girls sleeps in her own bed mostly because she is a light sleeper and once she moved out of our room, she slept much better. When she would cry at bedtime, I would pick her up, stand next to her bed and hold her until she calmed down. Then, I would put her back down. I would give her a minute to see if she was settling down, and when not, I would hold her again. The first night I did this, I picked her up and put her down 9 times, the next night 4, and the next night was something like 2. I didn't think it would work, but I gave it a few nights, and it seemed to help. There was a lot less crying, and the method seemed compassionate and loving to me.

Lately, I also started just lying in her in my bed to put her jammies on, let her nurse, and then just lie there with her for about 10 minutes. I am quiet or silent, and usually my husband lies down with us. She jabbers and looks around for those few minutes, and if she hasn't fallen asleep nursing, the time lying with us seems to calm her. We put her to bed awake but drowsy, and she sleeps for a long time.

I don't know if any of this works or if it just works for or girl, but I thought I'd share.

Amy E. said...

I just came across this post on Ask Moxie about sleep regressions. Here's the link:
http://www.askmoxie.org/2009/03/a-reminder-about-sleep-regressions.html

He's right about the age for a sleep regression. I'm not sure that it gives any advice but it could explain what's happening at least.