So I woke up several times in the past hour due to lower abdominal cramping. It is 3:54 and I am having another strong cramp and contraction. I can't sleep because it hurts regularly and I'm so excited about the possibility that this might be it. But I am very skeptical. It is painful and there is definite pressure, but it's not really like I have to stop and breathe through the pain or anything, so I don't know yet that this is IT. All I know is that this feeling is quite different than the contractions I've felt before. I figured I'd post because even if this is NOT it, since it is a significantly different sensation that I might as well get a record of. And if this IS it, I dunno how much I'll be able to post before things get "real". Heh heh.
It sort of occurs to me, though, that I would be making the "call" to the doc/hospital during normal business hours. Not sure why I thought this. I wonder if the number I had planned to call is the right one. Well, Lafayette isn't a big town so I'm sure I will get to the right people easily enough.
Here comes another contraction with pain...3:57 am. Now I have to ask myself, is it increasing in intensity? Well apparently I can still type at a decent pace while it's happening so it probably isn't a great concern. I think I am supposed to drink some fluids and walk around and see if they remain regular. I will know it's IT if these contractions continue no matter what I do, and they are every 3-5 minutes lasting a minute each. I don't think mine are lasting that long but that seems hard to time. They are definitely happening every 3-5 minutes for now.
I will drink some fluids, walk around, and see if I can sleep some more. I do feel sleepy, despite the potential excitement. Hopefully more good news to come...
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
salon day
Those contractions didn't turn into anything at all, and I've had no other signs of labor as the morning has progressed.
I have not been able to keep myself off the computer, but I have not read about past-due pregnancies or pregnancy in general, so yay me! And I've scheduled an appointment to go get my hair cut and my nails done. I've never had a manicure before. But hell, anything to get me out of the house and focusing on something other than my lack of labor!
I have not been able to keep myself off the computer, but I have not read about past-due pregnancies or pregnancy in general, so yay me! And I've scheduled an appointment to go get my hair cut and my nails done. I've never had a manicure before. But hell, anything to get me out of the house and focusing on something other than my lack of labor!
41 weeks
Nothing to say, but I am officially 41 weeks pregnant. Not everyone can say they've made it to this point. Maybe I need to start looking at this in a new light -- what an accomplishment I've made, right?!!
I'm having some crampy contractions this morning. Maybe it will mean something. At this point I'm not counting on it. Probably just indigestion from all the spicy chili and cajun food from yesterday! Well I'll probably time them anyway. Keep your fingers crossed.
I got a new book yesterday so I'm going to try hard to sink into that for some nice distraction. My goal for the day is to NOT read about pregnancy. Wish me luck.
I'm having some crampy contractions this morning. Maybe it will mean something. At this point I'm not counting on it. Probably just indigestion from all the spicy chili and cajun food from yesterday! Well I'll probably time them anyway. Keep your fingers crossed.
I got a new book yesterday so I'm going to try hard to sink into that for some nice distraction. My goal for the day is to NOT read about pregnancy. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
two posts a day...i must be anxious
Well today started strong and then I fell into an emotional slump. I don't know if it's pregnancy hormones or what. We are starting to get the calls. "Do you have your baby yet??" It is nice to know people are thinking of us, but it is a little painful to explain how "oh no, this is perfectly normal" and "human gestation is really 38-42 weeks" and "no, we aren't getting induced yet" and "no, we're pretty sure of the dates. pregnancies sometimes just last longer..." The reason it's painful is because I'm constantly attempting to reassure myself of all this stuff, constantly reminding myself that all is well and that I will still, more than likely, go into labor naturally on my own. And what's even better, now Aaron has the old ladies at work coming up to him and telling him, "did you know having sex can bring on labor??" -- actually, one lady even basically said he needed to "do the nasty."
If I Google past due pregnancies or 41 weeks pregnant I read stories of women feeling EXACTLY like I do...that this whole pregnancy thing has been a farce. There really is no baby and no impending birth.
Tonight Aaron took me out for dinner and a movie -- I really needed to get out of the house (though my day with nothing to do did result in another cleaning of the house, top to bottom). For the first part of the movie I had a series of timeable contractions again -- 7 minutes apart. So exciting. But then they just fizzled away into nothing. Sigh. It's all a big tease. Most babies are born between a week before or after the due date. I am soon no longer going to be within the realm of "most". That makes me uneasy.
I am greatly looking forward to Thursday's doctor's appointment, but it's not until 4:40 in the afternoon. I really didn't think we'd need it, but it's looking more and more like we'll be making that appointment after all.
If I Google past due pregnancies or 41 weeks pregnant I read stories of women feeling EXACTLY like I do...that this whole pregnancy thing has been a farce. There really is no baby and no impending birth.
Tonight Aaron took me out for dinner and a movie -- I really needed to get out of the house (though my day with nothing to do did result in another cleaning of the house, top to bottom). For the first part of the movie I had a series of timeable contractions again -- 7 minutes apart. So exciting. But then they just fizzled away into nothing. Sigh. It's all a big tease. Most babies are born between a week before or after the due date. I am soon no longer going to be within the realm of "most". That makes me uneasy.
I am greatly looking forward to Thursday's doctor's appointment, but it's not until 4:40 in the afternoon. I really didn't think we'd need it, but it's looking more and more like we'll be making that appointment after all.
due date +6...yeah, that's right, almost a week late!
Ok, so I can't help but to continue to count the days. I'm feeling better about things and I'm trying to keep my mind occupied with other thoughts, but there really is no true escaping of my incredibly pregnant self. At least my mind is currently in a content place, understanding that as long as everything with the pregnancy remains healthy, there is really no reason for concern. I had a nice dose of strong contractions last night, and a handful this morning. Nothing is regular or increasing in intensity, so labor still evades me, but at least I feel like my body is working towards the ultimate goal. His movements also remain strong and regular, so I really have no cause for alarm. He is just as content as ever swimming around in there, and I have to pretend that I'm as content as ever with the status quo. This is my cancer baby, opposite my capricorn self. He's gotta do what feels right, no matter if I think we just need to get the job done!
Tomorrow I will officially be 41 weeks pregnant. One week past my due date. Up until now, everything about this pregnancy has been SO by the book I was sure I would deliver by Wednesday. Now I'm not so sure. Right now instead of counting towards potential labor and delivery, I feel like I'm actually counting down to Thursday's doc appointment. I'm anxious to get confirmation from my doc that everything remains happy and healthy despite his delayed arrival, and I'm anxious for the membrane sweep. I read a lot of stories online of it working for many women, and I think that since it's so late in the pregnancy, and since I'm already dilated and effaced to some degree, it stands a good chance of working. So currently, I believe I will have a baby sometime between Friday and Monday. Of course, I haven't been right about any of this stuff yet.
Tomorrow I will officially be 41 weeks pregnant. One week past my due date. Up until now, everything about this pregnancy has been SO by the book I was sure I would deliver by Wednesday. Now I'm not so sure. Right now instead of counting towards potential labor and delivery, I feel like I'm actually counting down to Thursday's doc appointment. I'm anxious to get confirmation from my doc that everything remains happy and healthy despite his delayed arrival, and I'm anxious for the membrane sweep. I read a lot of stories online of it working for many women, and I think that since it's so late in the pregnancy, and since I'm already dilated and effaced to some degree, it stands a good chance of working. So currently, I believe I will have a baby sometime between Friday and Monday. Of course, I haven't been right about any of this stuff yet.
Monday, July 7, 2008
spirits are lifting
Yipee I'm feeling better! Thanks for the well-wishes from you guys. I think I just had so much anticipation for last week that when it didn't end up going at all like I had hoped, I couldn't help but feel this big let down.
Tonight our friends Ingrid and Tain had us over for an amazing dinner of spicy veggie chili -- boy did it have one fantastic kick! Ingrid is a terrific cook so it's always great when she wants to share a dish, and she made this one specifically for me with the hopes of spurring on the elusive act of labor. Well, I had some good contractions for a while! But nothing too regular. Regardless, time with friends, yummy food, and a good walk with my husband has done my body and mind a world of good. At dinner we also got to hang out with our friend Esteban who is back from Colombia -- we hadn't seen him since he'd been back. So that was really nice. His mom even made the little one a cute little hat, sweater, and bootie set. So cute!
I feel like I'm finally starting to acknowledge that I really am not overdue. That gestation often goes significantly longer than the estimated due date, and the scary stories I was reading earlier are indeed rare instances. I think I am even starting to get my head around the fact that even if I am induced, even if I have pitocin, an epidural, an episiotomy, a super long labor, and even if they have to use the vacuum extractor, my child and I are most likely going to make it through this thing A-OK.
Here are some pics.
Tonight our friends Ingrid and Tain had us over for an amazing dinner of spicy veggie chili -- boy did it have one fantastic kick! Ingrid is a terrific cook so it's always great when she wants to share a dish, and she made this one specifically for me with the hopes of spurring on the elusive act of labor. Well, I had some good contractions for a while! But nothing too regular. Regardless, time with friends, yummy food, and a good walk with my husband has done my body and mind a world of good. At dinner we also got to hang out with our friend Esteban who is back from Colombia -- we hadn't seen him since he'd been back. So that was really nice. His mom even made the little one a cute little hat, sweater, and bootie set. So cute!
I feel like I'm finally starting to acknowledge that I really am not overdue. That gestation often goes significantly longer than the estimated due date, and the scary stories I was reading earlier are indeed rare instances. I think I am even starting to get my head around the fact that even if I am induced, even if I have pitocin, an epidural, an episiotomy, a super long labor, and even if they have to use the vacuum extractor, my child and I are most likely going to make it through this thing A-OK.
Here are some pics.
are you still pregnant? why yes, yes i am.
So here I sit, Monday July 7, 2008, five days past my due date, with no indication that labor is on its way. My mother in-law has just left for the shuttle to the airport, having not met her new grandson. I had a handful of contractions yesterday, but they are hardly worth mentioning. I keep trying to take regular walks, drink raspberry leaf tea, eat spicy foods, and all the other good things that they say can encourage labor. I haven't resorted to castor oil, however, and will continue to refrain from that seemingly regrettable method of labor induction.
I am feeling less down than yesterday, so that's good. But the depression I'm still feeling is more than I expected. The truth is, I just can't help but feel responsible for his lack of arrival, and the anticipation from everyone (including myself) is so much to handle. I realize there is nothing I can do about it, and he seems to be as happy and healthy as always, but I am getting to the point where worry seems to be finding a permanent home inside my head. I filter out birth stories now for those that are considered "past due," and the percentage of induced births definitely seems to outweigh those that are "natural." I don't know if this is because the induction was really necessary, or if it was because the mothers and care providers were so eager, or perhaps just too worried to let the pregnancy continue. And then I started reading stories about prolonged pregnancies that ended in stillbirths. These were perfectly normal and healthy pregnancies all the way along, but they just didn't work out. I had never really considered this a possibility. Now it's just another little worry that has found a place to camp out in the back of my brain.
The truth is, I am not really "overdue". Seems more and more statistics I read indicate that the gestation period may be longer than the medical world usually figures. And of course, we cannot really and truly pinpoint the moment of conception (though I know enough about my cycle to know that we can't be off more than a couple of days). And I continue to read anecdotal and some statistical evidence that first-time mothers are usually past their due dates. But I asked my nurse about that, just to see what she'd noticed in her daily practice, and she said she couldn't say that that seemed to be true. She said her first was late and had to be threatened with an induction in order to decide to arrive on her own. I read a lot of stories like that too. So is there something inside my mind that I can switch to trigger the start of labor?
The following info is based on misc. numbers and potentially faux statistics that have stuck with me during all of my reading. I don't remember where the info is from and I really don't even know how accurate it is, but here we go. Labor usually occurs between 38-42 weeks (Wednesday I will be 41 weeks). I have read that 50% of births happen during week 39 and 40. The thing is, I think those stats probably still include induced and cesarean births, too (so they probably happen by 42 weeks because the docs don't often let them go longer).
"One study found first time mothers gave birth on average 5 days over their due date and second time mothers gave birth on average 2 days after their due date. Most studies I reviewed suggested that first time mothers had longer pregnancies than women who had a baby before."
http://www.pregnancy.com.au/overdue.htm
I read there is the Mittendorf formula for calculating due dates, and that is
(LMP-3 months) +15 days = Due Date.
According to that, the due date would be Friday July 11.
According to a German doctor in the early 1800s, there is even a
formula for determining gestation length in the Talmud: "The regular
pregnancy from the day of fertilization until the delivery has a
duration of 270 days or 9 months, each month counted as 30 days."
(lifted from: http://answers.google.com/answers/main?cmd=threadview&id=233200)
By my count, that would be today.
The thing is, I am so very anxious to meet my little guy and to no longer be pregnant, but the anticipation doesn't seem to be what's getting to me now. The anticipation has now shifted to fear. Fear that something is wrong with me, or fear that something will go wrong with this labor and delivery, or fear that something will happen to him. It isn't rational. I am not very far past my due date, both he and I have continually been perfectly healthy at all our appointments. But so far I can't reason away this growing worry.
I am feeling less down than yesterday, so that's good. But the depression I'm still feeling is more than I expected. The truth is, I just can't help but feel responsible for his lack of arrival, and the anticipation from everyone (including myself) is so much to handle. I realize there is nothing I can do about it, and he seems to be as happy and healthy as always, but I am getting to the point where worry seems to be finding a permanent home inside my head. I filter out birth stories now for those that are considered "past due," and the percentage of induced births definitely seems to outweigh those that are "natural." I don't know if this is because the induction was really necessary, or if it was because the mothers and care providers were so eager, or perhaps just too worried to let the pregnancy continue. And then I started reading stories about prolonged pregnancies that ended in stillbirths. These were perfectly normal and healthy pregnancies all the way along, but they just didn't work out. I had never really considered this a possibility. Now it's just another little worry that has found a place to camp out in the back of my brain.
The truth is, I am not really "overdue". Seems more and more statistics I read indicate that the gestation period may be longer than the medical world usually figures. And of course, we cannot really and truly pinpoint the moment of conception (though I know enough about my cycle to know that we can't be off more than a couple of days). And I continue to read anecdotal and some statistical evidence that first-time mothers are usually past their due dates. But I asked my nurse about that, just to see what she'd noticed in her daily practice, and she said she couldn't say that that seemed to be true. She said her first was late and had to be threatened with an induction in order to decide to arrive on her own. I read a lot of stories like that too. So is there something inside my mind that I can switch to trigger the start of labor?
The following info is based on misc. numbers and potentially faux statistics that have stuck with me during all of my reading. I don't remember where the info is from and I really don't even know how accurate it is, but here we go. Labor usually occurs between 38-42 weeks (Wednesday I will be 41 weeks). I have read that 50% of births happen during week 39 and 40. The thing is, I think those stats probably still include induced and cesarean births, too (so they probably happen by 42 weeks because the docs don't often let them go longer).
"One study found first time mothers gave birth on average 5 days over their due date and second time mothers gave birth on average 2 days after their due date. Most studies I reviewed suggested that first time mothers had longer pregnancies than women who had a baby before."
http://www.pregnancy.com.au/overdue.htm
I read there is the Mittendorf formula for calculating due dates, and that is
(LMP-3 months) +15 days = Due Date.
According to that, the due date would be Friday July 11.
According to a German doctor in the early 1800s, there is even a
formula for determining gestation length in the Talmud: "The regular
pregnancy from the day of fertilization until the delivery has a
duration of 270 days or 9 months, each month counted as 30 days."
(lifted from: http://answers.google.com/answers/main?cmd=threadview&id=233200)
By my count, that would be today.
The thing is, I am so very anxious to meet my little guy and to no longer be pregnant, but the anticipation doesn't seem to be what's getting to me now. The anticipation has now shifted to fear. Fear that something is wrong with me, or fear that something will go wrong with this labor and delivery, or fear that something will happen to him. It isn't rational. I am not very far past my due date, both he and I have continually been perfectly healthy at all our appointments. But so far I can't reason away this growing worry.
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