2011

So we survived the holidays. I guess it wasn't that bad -- it was rather a roller coaster for me, and I attribute a lot of it to pregnancy. So those of you who had to endure the lows, my apologies, and my thank you for your patience.

What were some of the highs and lows, you ask? I'll spare the details, but let's just say having the whole family sick, hosting a revolving door of guests, anxiety, loss of sleep, and crazy pregnancy-induced emotional waves left me exhausted, less than level-headed, and a big cranky scrooge. Didn't take much to send me over the edge. And even at the end of it, Sam split his lip open playing New Years Eve and spent the evening of New Years Day vomiting. Happy New Year!

For the highs, though, this was Sam's first Christmas that he really got into and sort of "understood" (as in deciding that getting new toys and opening presents is FUN FUN FUN). We had our first Christmas tree in something like five years, so that was fun also (Sam was really sad to see it go). We had perfect Christmas snow. And it was very nice that so many family members wanted to take the trek to come and see us for the holidays. Sam is a pretty reserved little guy, but he understands family and gets so excited to spend time with all of his relatives. So, all in all, everything was ok.

And it was nice to have the time off. Aaron and I got to spend more time together than we have as of late, and that was really good. Now we are back to the grind. It's Aaron's last semester, which means prepping for his big MFA show. He also has a new class he's teaching. And then there is the job hunt too. So I have to get used to not seeing him again. At least it's only temporary.

Sam continues to grow at what feels like phenomenal rates. He seems tall, but I have no relative sense of measurement. I just see him running around this house and think -- "Wow, what a kid." He is so funny and talking all the time. His speech might still be a bit slow compared to other peers, but at the rate he's developing I have little concern. Still not sure if he'll qualify for the preschool program we're hoping he can do next year (I think I wrote about that on here but I'm not sure. But he'd have to qualify as a "typical peer" in terms of his speech language development). We seem to have transitioned him to his "big kid" twin bed now, with the understanding that he's a big boy and his new little brother will need the little bed. I think he's excited about sharing a room with his little brother, but I still sort of have no idea how sleep is going to work when the new baby arrives.

Pregnancy is going fine. I'm having a wave of exhaustion that seems to me more to do with diet and holiday aftermath. It keeps me from being productive though and I feel guilty about that. Sort of feel like I'm doing the minimum at work, and maybe that's just a misconception (like people thinking I should be there to help install their shows -- in the past I probably would have tried to arrange to do this, but now I just make it clear that that's not my job, but they can call if they have problems). The baby keeps very active which helps me feel like everything is going well. At the last doctor's appointment on Monday my midwife confirmed that the ultrasound revealed that all looks good. I'm something like 23 or 24 weeks along now. I still feel like this guy will come late like Sam did, but who knows. Heartburn is already setting in. I am becoming more aware of my increasing volume, as I run into things when I think I can fit through smaller spaces than I can actually fit through. I was telling a male friend of mine that it feels like walking around with a backpack -- you forget how big you are. I've kind of gained a lot it seems, and I think I'll gain more this pregnancy than the first. But I no longer have fears that it will be WAY more than the first. I know my belly will be bigger. I'm definitely one month or more bigger than I was at this point in my pregnancy last time. I'm also at the mid-point of the pregnancy that seems like the birth is far far away, but at the rate time is moving I feel like it is tomorrow. I started going through the baby clothes and things we saved and we're really stocked. I guess it's good we're having a boy! I really don't think we need to buy any new clothes. The only baby item I know for sure we'll need are some new cotton prefold diapers. Those things are so useful.

And so that is that! It may have been a rough end to 2010/beginning to 2011, but all in all 2010 was a pretty good year and I think 2011 will be pretty good too. I expect some serious emotional highs and lows with the transformations our family will be going through (new baby, Aaron finishing school/new job/no job, etc.), but we have such fun together and are so excited for our new family member that I feel pretty optimistic that things will be ok.

Putting Sam to bed tonight seems like a pretty good example of what life is for me right now: Our bedtime routine is long. Tonight he was being difficult about putting his pajamas on, but we did it. Then for brushing teeth he was goofing around and almost fell off his stool and bumped his head, so he was upset about that. Then we got to D's bed to read stories and Sam was upset because when I set him up there he almost fell down "don't do that mom!". But we read stories, and it was nice. And he ran to get his dad for "good night time!" and then scurried to his big boy bed and hid under the covers (this is now a standard part of good night). Aaron pretended to sniff him out. Then we went into the long routine of "Little Boy" story (a story about a Little Boy Named Sam). Then I had to sing "Dream By Night" (aka "Flying Dreams" from Secret of Nimh -- this has become our lullaby. Well, a bastardized mashed up version.). And Aaron had to sing the "Frisbee" song. The "Frisbee" song is one that Aaron made up after Sam was trying to tell me to sing "Dream By Night" but didn't know what to call it and was making a silly swooping hand motion and at some point said "Frisbee" (might have actually been "Brisby" because that's the name of the mice in Secret of Nimh) so we just went with it, and now is part of the regular bedtime routine. During that, we also had family hugs that bumped Mom and Dad's heads together, a giggle fit, lots of hugs and kisses. It was exhausting. It was tedious. Part of it is just Sam avoiding going to bed. But it is so fun. It is so sweet. I cannot tell him I won't sing for him because I just love the fact that he asks. And if he asks for one more hug and kiss, what am I going to say? These are beautiful moments that both give and take everything from me. So after Sam goes to bed, when I finally have my time, what can I do? Just about nothing. I'm zapped. So now I sit amidst a pile of unfolded clothes, slowly folding away, and writing this blog. Will the pile of dishes get done tonight? Not likely. Will I get caught up on the other projects I told people I would do. Nope. I'll finish the clothes and watch some junk on Netflix, and go to bed. I will feel overwhelmed with what I didn't do, but really, I don't think I'd do things too differently.