Well I'm behind on my Sam pics and posting. This is because I am now employed! I'm doing a .5 time teaching job at P.U. this semester. I'm very excited to have employment, I'm glad that it's part time, but I already feel really weird being away from my son for so long. At least the pump is working great and he's taking bottles A-Ok. But I feel weird. It's hard enough starting a new job or returning to work after a week's vacation -- I haven't worked since June!! Plus teaching is really full of anxiety for me.
The semester begins on Monday. Over the past week I have had several meetings, lots of miscellaneous errands to run, papers to fill out, questions to find answers to, a syllabus to write -- why couldn't they have given me just a little more time to prep?? I am filling in for one of my former professors while he is on sabbatical -- he had someone else that he'd wanted to have do the job but she was unable to do it at the last minute, so I got the email. I don't mind being runner up. The other woman has more teaching experience than I do. In fact, I am feeling a lot like I did my first semester teaching -- marveling at how they just throw you into the classroom and you cross your fingers and do your best. I have really been working at trying to have more confidence and remain optimistic and I think I feel better when I'm able to keep that state of mind, but it's a fragile state for me -- I easily revert to insecure and awkward. Well the good thing about college semesters is that they are very short. I made it through 9+ months of pregnancy, I can make it through 5 months of an awkward semester.
Being a parent really helps me keep things in perspective too. I think that in some ways I will be able to put up with more uncomfortable things if I know that if I put up with them my son can benefit. I think that a teaching schedule is much more accommodating for a new mom than, say, an 8-5 office job. But it's a lot of work, particularly up front, and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Hopefully in a couple of weeks I'll feel more at ease. I'm excited about the class I'm teaching (beginning sculpture) and I'm excited about the syllabus I've created for it. Hopefully the course will go well. My other responsibilities are to coordinate the 2D and 3D design classes, which are taught by grad student teaching assistants. I wasn't worried about that part, but more recently have been a little concerned because many of the TAs have taught as much if not more than I do, so I wonder if my lack of real seniority will make the dynamic weird. But I don't think it will. I worry too much about social dynamics. I think if I remain confident and positive it will all work out fine. So I will keep working on being confident and positive.
But I already miss Sam. I already feel like he grows miles while I am away. He is rolling over regularly all of a sudden. And he seems soooo long. And I get jealous of the time others get to spend with him.
He is six months old. Six months!! He goes to the doctor for his well-baby checkup on the 15th.
Oh, andI have a date for my interview for the professor job: Jan 27. I think I have a shirt to wear with my suit, now, so that's good. And I have a lot of my materials to prep. Once I finish my prep for the semester it's back to interview prep. Sure is a lot of work.
Here are some fairly recent pics of Grandma and Grandpa Nemec with Sam. This was the first time Sam got to meet his Grandpa N!
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