The Interview

Phew! So I made it through the campus visit!! And I am giving myself the night off! After dealing with some work email, that is.

Sam is napping, I have a silly favorite movie playing, and I'm catching up on the blog. Nice.

So... let's see...

The campus visit went well. I think. I hope. They offered me a hotel for the night before, and I accepted figuring driving to Indy in time to arrive for an 8:30 interview was not the best formula for success. For those of you don't know, I'm not the most confident (or competent??) driver -- and even if that isn't true, I really just don't like it and often feel frazzled. Driving is scary. I mean, we just trust that others will do what they are supposed to and what if I make a bad judgment call and... anyway, that's not the topic of this post. To make things even more comfy, Aaron decided to come down with me. That way I could feed Sam and be near the boys I love as I prep for the big day. Aaron and Sam had planned to pal around Indy checking out the art museum and such, but since Aaron had a bunch of school work to do he decided to drive back to Lafayette to work and then come BACK to Indy to pick me up when I was done. Phew! And to make things MORE complicated, there was a significant amount of snow coming in yesterday afternoon. Aaron's trip to pick me up ended up being 4 or 5 hours in the car. Sheesh! Thanks Aaron! The man I love!

I wore my suit, and a borrowed shirt from Meg since the two I bought (figuring I'd for sure have a good option) didn't work. Thanks Meg! I had heeled boots. It was funny. But good. I felt appropriately dressed. I should have gotten pictures, haha. I wore a black wool coat I purchased from a flea market a few summers ago, as opposed to my down coat with little squirrels and birdies on the inside -- think I fooled 'em??

Teaching was the most awkward part of the class. I had to lead a discussion on some readings and the topic is kind of lame -- goal setting/time management/thinking creatively. I don't normally lead readings in the classroom because I teach studio art, but if I get this job, leading discussions will be something I'd have to learn to do. It was a little rocky, but not bad. And by the time I got to the brainstorming exercises, people had fun. Did they learn anything? I dunno. I sure would do things differently, but...don't I always think that? It definitely wasn't horrible.

That was early on, and then I had a mix of other activities including meeting the provost, HR, lunch with the dean, campus tour, open meet n greet, and the final "interview" with the committee. Everyone was SUPER nice. Next to teaching, lunch with the dean was the most awkward part. The restaurant was very busy and VERY COLD and we had an ok chat I guess, but a lunch with a stranger is probably always awkward, especially when you know they are sizing you up. No one came to the open student/faculty meet the candidate thing -- well, one faculty from theatre did so we had fun talking masks and costumes and stuff since that stuff is so up my alley. And I think I successfully answered all the questions for the last part of the interview. For the most part I felt comfortable talking with everyone and felt as though I represented myself well -- experienced, skilled, confident, but acknowledged I'm knew to this stuff and eager to jump in and do stuff and make a difference, blah blah blah. Augh. Interviews are weird. But I never felt like I had to make a sell, except for maybe with the dean. Everything else was very normal conversation and discussions about values of art education, how to reach students, how to cross divides between campus and community, working across disciplines, etc etc. I didn't need half of what I printed out, but I guess I'm glad it was there. They were impressed with the little "sample syllabi" packet that I put together thanks to a friend's suggestion (Thanks Ursula!). I emailed a thank you note this am and they said they were impressed with my interview so I don't think I've been scratched off the list yet. I was the first of the three campus visits, so I won't hear for a few weeks. Wish me luck!

I really want the job. I am so excited about the benefits of working in higher education. I could get more degrees!! for free! And I like being a student :) And Sam could get free school! You know, once he grows up and all. And it's a growing program; I could perhaps really make a difference in what happens there. I dunno. It's ok if it doesn't work out. They very well might want a more seasoned prof. And that's cool I guess. I mean, I can't have more experience than I have. It is what it is (that's for you Aaron).

SOOO in baby-related interview notes... I didn't try pumping during the interview. I was about to explode by the end. And then the drive home was a couple of hours and I forgot to have the pump in the car. I managed to express some to relieve the pain and then fed Sam and pumped once I got home. That was interesting!

Here are some pics Aunt Meg took while she was babysitting yesterday... I sure missed Sam while I was away!

augh.

we are still working on solid foods. sam is unsure what he thinks. so far he likes banana and prunes, but he wouldn't even eat his banana yesterday (not hungry??). he sometimes eats peas, sometimes not. the prunes and peas are store-bought baby food. peas are the only "veggie" he will even swallow. but we're keeping at it, once a day, and sometimes he has lots of fun with it.

i am in super anxiety mode with my campus visit (aka interview) coming up on tuesday. augh. i am quickly spiraling into a chasm of self-doubt and insecurity. gotta shake it. sometimes i'm really excited about this position. other times i'm indifferent. i would like an excuse to be able to not work and stay home with sam.

sam is awesome.

i realized my drivers license is expired. oops. i have to renew that.

do you realize how much misc. stuff you have to print and have ready for the campus visit? it's ridiculous. poor trees.

still no call from the library. maybe i won't get an in-person interview after all.

the gig at the university is going ok so far. i am really enjoying teaching sculpture and the students seem really enthused about the class and the projects, so that feels great. the coordinating part is a little frustrating because i feel like my role isn't really clear and the guy i'm filling in for is still in contact a fair amount so it's hard for me to know what the hierarchy/labor division stuff is. i guess i should stop worrying about that and just do as much as i can and try to do things the way i think they should be done and people will tell me if i've crossed any lines. right? heck if i know. sorta feel like i'm trying to decide whether i should be a pushover or pushy. guess i should go with pushy. it's probably neither one of those anyway.

sam really is cool.

Sam Eats.

What Have I Done?? (aka The Banana Monster)

So I've been sooo proud of myself for ditching all the how-to parenting stuff and just going with my gut. It has felt pretty darn good. But now I have a problem with that. With the guts. Well, Sam's guts, to be more precise.

So, I offered Sam banana as his first food (well second, because I already offered rice cereal a month ago or whatever...well third, REALLY, because he gets milk...whatever, you know what I'm trying to say). We had a browning banana, I thought I had read it was on the "ok first foods" list, especially since he was now the magical 6 months of age, so I went for it and he loved the sugary goodness. I thought -- wow! We are here! We are on to "solid" foods! He ate banana for a couple of days (We are feeding non-milk food once a day at dinner time, letting him decide how much he eats) and then I was anxious to try another food. I went for carrot, boiling some carrots and mashing them up for him. Upon offering the spoon of orange mush, he was immediately appalled. He could not believe we would offer him such a miserable thing. He would not have it. I don't think we got pictures that really capture the complete disgust that was written all over his body. He was actively spitting the carrot out. So, we brought out the rice cereal mixed with expressed milk -- he would barely touch that. We brought out the banana -- ahh sweet banana -- he ate. I mixed the carrot and banana and he ate that. I had read that if your baby doesn't like something, give it a few days or weeks and try again another time. So, I didn't fret it, for convenience sake he got his beloved banana again the next day, and then here we are, to today.

This morning Sam had his 6-month well-baby check up. He's doing great. Weighing in at a whopping 21 lbs, measuring 27 3/4 inches in length -- he remains a giant baby. I talked to the doc about the solid food stuff, because it is such new terrain to me and it seems like there is no clear path. PLUS bananas can be constipating and Sam's stools had slowed and thickened (as they do with the introduction of other food) and we really wanted to make sure we weren't making things too difficult for Sam (don't want another anal fistula after all!!). Anyway, I left feeling just as confused, I realized. She reiterated the yellow/orange veggies first (which I now realize in my head I thought fruits were in there too) and then onto green beans and peas...But what was sorta weird was that it kind of sounded like the doc was suggesting we use the store babyfood. Not that we had to, but she seemed to think it was a good idea. Started talking about nitrates in carrots and that its better to use the jarred baby food carrots instead of cooking your own -- that and spinach. I hadn't heard anything about this, so I promptly did some research when I got home and I'm not sure she's right.

Anyway, I was excited to try sweet potato tonight. I thought the sweetness and smooth texture would be more satisfying to Sam than the carrot had been. Well, I was WRONG. He was as disgusted with the sweet potato as he was with the carrot. I even let him dig his hands into the bowl of sweet potato and when he pulled his potato-filled hands to his mouth, his face expressed the complete horror of what it found. This time I did not bring out the banana. I just let him eat as much (or as little, as the case may be) of the sweet potato as he wanted, then cleaned him up and that was the end of solid food time.

Tonight, when it became bedtime, Sam would NOT sleep. That is sort of rare for Sam. Some nights are more difficult than others, but tonight Sam just could not settle down. I let him nurse even though it seemed early. He started nursing eagerly but gave up quickly and cried -- as though he was hungry but wasn't getting enough or what he wanted. Finally, over two hours past his normal bed time, I thought "what the hell. let's try banana". Baby in high chair, mushed banana on spoon ... Sam took a good bite. Smiles resume. Sam is happy. Sam eats at least half of a medium sized banana. The world is right again.

Well, really he got a little fussy after he was full, and I think it was because he was sooo exhausted (his eyes were sooo tired looking). Aaron rocked him for a few minutes, though, and he was out.

But here I am wondering if I've started down a bad path. First, did I screw things up really bad by offering this yummy sweet fruit as his first food? Will nothing but other fruits compare? I mean, I'm not shocked he loves the sweets -- his parents are complete sweet fiends. But the guy has to eat something other than banana! Also, if he doesn't like the orange veggies I offer, do I move onto the greens anyway? How did you moms and dads out there start introducing solids? Why is this so complicated for me?

Could he really not sleep tonight because he didn't get his banana fix? Or perhaps my milk supply wasn't providing what he needed? After all, I have returned to work and am away from him for large chunks of some days (he gets my expressed milk when I'm gone) -- maybe I'm no longer making enough?? But I let him nurse as much as he wants and when I miss a feeding I pump when I get home. (I was home all day today so he didn't get a bottle today.)

Sigh. I don't know. I'll just keep at it. But any advice or relevant info is appreciated. About that nitrate thing too. I have read some but not enough to feel knowledgeable on the subject.

Oh, also, he seems to get really hyper after eating banana too. Sugar high?? Do other babies do this? Or just my little Banana Monster?

And, it's really hard going back to work. But I'll save that for another post.

Six Months!

So I still cannot believe that our boy is 6 months old. Time goes by soooo fast once you become a parent. I mean, it of course felt as though it was going faster and faster as I aged anyway, but seriously, now that I have a child time appears to be the most mysterious speedy thing.

For Sam's 6-month birthday, we decided to try solids again. We went for banana now that his digestive track should be a little stronger. He loved it!! We will be incorporating solids on a daily basis now. Way to go Sam!! I can't wait to share all the yummy flavors of the world with you.

Grandpa E even got him a high chair so he can sit at the table like us big folk.


Sam can sit unassisted now! Ok, so he can't pull himself up to the sit, and he can't do it for long before he has interest in something to the side and reaches and tips over, BUT he can catch himself a little bit if he gets off-balance.

Sam also rolls over with ease and rolls over regularly from his back over his left shoulder to his tummy. He's gotten so comfortable doing that roll that he won't do any of the others. I haven't seen him roll tummy to back in weeks and he rarely rolls over his right shoulder. Funny guy.

He is really experimenting with his voice, and will just call out big throaty "aahhs" sometime when he's just playing and rolling around. Or when he's latched onto my head and is screaming in my ear.

Sam is awesome.

He goes to his 6 month well-baby check up this week. I'll post more then. I can't wait to see his measurements. I feel like a geek because I get so into it. But they grow so fast that sometimes it's hard to tell how much he has really grown and how much is in your head. He seems so much longer now. And of course he's a hefty round little guy :) errr...big guy.

Now I have to get ready to head to my first day of classes! Eeek!

Long Time No Post

Well I'm behind on my Sam pics and posting. This is because I am now employed! I'm doing a .5 time teaching job at P.U. this semester. I'm very excited to have employment, I'm glad that it's part time, but I already feel really weird being away from my son for so long. At least the pump is working great and he's taking bottles A-Ok. But I feel weird. It's hard enough starting a new job or returning to work after a week's vacation -- I haven't worked since June!! Plus teaching is really full of anxiety for me.

The semester begins on Monday. Over the past week I have had several meetings, lots of miscellaneous errands to run, papers to fill out, questions to find answers to, a syllabus to write -- why couldn't they have given me just a little more time to prep?? I am filling in for one of my former professors while he is on sabbatical -- he had someone else that he'd wanted to have do the job but she was unable to do it at the last minute, so I got the email. I don't mind being runner up. The other woman has more teaching experience than I do. In fact, I am feeling a lot like I did my first semester teaching -- marveling at how they just throw you into the classroom and you cross your fingers and do your best. I have really been working at trying to have more confidence and remain optimistic and I think I feel better when I'm able to keep that state of mind, but it's a fragile state for me -- I easily revert to insecure and awkward. Well the good thing about college semesters is that they are very short. I made it through 9+ months of pregnancy, I can make it through 5 months of an awkward semester.

Being a parent really helps me keep things in perspective too. I think that in some ways I will be able to put up with more uncomfortable things if I know that if I put up with them my son can benefit. I think that a teaching schedule is much more accommodating for a new mom than, say, an 8-5 office job. But it's a lot of work, particularly up front, and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Hopefully in a couple of weeks I'll feel more at ease. I'm excited about the class I'm teaching (beginning sculpture) and I'm excited about the syllabus I've created for it. Hopefully the course will go well. My other responsibilities are to coordinate the 2D and 3D design classes, which are taught by grad student teaching assistants. I wasn't worried about that part, but more recently have been a little concerned because many of the TAs have taught as much if not more than I do, so I wonder if my lack of real seniority will make the dynamic weird. But I don't think it will. I worry too much about social dynamics. I think if I remain confident and positive it will all work out fine. So I will keep working on being confident and positive.

But I already miss Sam. I already feel like he grows miles while I am away. He is rolling over regularly all of a sudden. And he seems soooo long. And I get jealous of the time others get to spend with him.

He is six months old. Six months!! He goes to the doctor for his well-baby checkup on the 15th.

Oh, andI have a date for my interview for the professor job: Jan 27. I think I have a shirt to wear with my suit, now, so that's good. And I have a lot of my materials to prep. Once I finish my prep for the semester it's back to interview prep. Sure is a lot of work.

Here are some fairly recent pics of Grandma and Grandpa Nemec with Sam. This was the first time Sam got to meet his Grandpa N!

Free Baby Shirts!!

So with the help of my programming father, I am working on designing astrological baby clothes! The absolute most unique baby item ever -- your baby's completely unique astrological birth chart printed on a onesie or shirt. Here is a cancer the crab shirt for my little cancer baby.

I am still testing and working on designs, so that brings me to the FREE BABY SHIRTS. Any of you moms and dads out there with little ones around want a free shirt with your baby's astro chart on it?? If so, send me a note and I'll see what I can do. Offer is on-going, but no guarantee that I will be able to make and send you a free shirt. Once I get through this testing phase I'm going to try to sell these puppies. We'll see how it goes. To make the shirt I will need your child's birth date, time, and location, as well as his/her size.

So, please request a shirt! And give your feedback on the ideas/designs too. I will post pics as applicable.

2009 here we are

Happy New Year!
Hard to believe it's another year. Here is a picture from Sam way back in the year 2008, wearing a StarWars shirt from his Aunt Meg, sized 18 or 24 months. To be fair, the shirt is a little loose and it's sort of oddly shaped, but still, our boy is pretty big. In this image, he's playing in a walker that his Grandpa Erlewine got him. Walkers are controversial but my dad remembers his kids really getting a lot out of them and my house is laid out perfectly for such a thing. Sam is too little and his feet don't touch the ground, but he actually loves being in there and exploring the toys from this vertical position. So even as a stationary play place, this walker is cool, and I think he'll be pretty thrilled when he gets to move around a bit.

New Years Eve was spent at our good friend Juan's. Colombian New Year traditions are way more fun than the US ones, so we intended to observe some of them. A few years ago we spent New Years with our other Colombian friend Esteban and we did this tradition where you pack a bag and walk around the block, pretending you are going on a trip you hope to take during the upcoming year. The act is supposed to bring you good luck with traveling in the new year -- and that year I did do a lot of traveling! This year was too cold to take Sam out for a midnight walk, but we did do the tradition of eating 12 grapes at midnight, making a wish for the new year as you eat each grape.

Sam and Mom updates!
Sam seems to be healed from his surgery! Way to go Sam!

I think that in the past month I've really become more comfortable as a mom, and that feels great. I don't spend incessant hours reading about how Sam should be developing, or what I should be doing to be the perfect mother. I still do some research, of course, but not to the degree that I did. I'm much more comfortable watching my son develop at the pace that he develops and I take my parenting choices in stride. The truth is, this family stuff is all about survival, and you do what works best for you and yours. And I'm ok with that. I'm ok with the fact that my son sleeps some of every night in bed with us and I'm ok that sometimes he goes to sleep with a few tears and sometimes he doesn't, and sometimes I can't stand to let him cry so he stays up a little late. We have games we play and songs we sing.

Sam can sit up unassisted for very brief moments, and he's getting stronger all the time. Rolling over remains an elusive act, but he certainly can do it and gets all rolly and twisty both in your lap and laying on tummy or back. He reaches and grabs like crazy, loves shaking rattles and loves crinkly toys. He likes to read books with me and he loves to watch his dad dance. He and I both love wrestling together -- he laughs when I blow raspberries on the underside of his chin and his rarely accessible neck and he laughs when I nibble his ribs. He is often soothed by the Growing Pains theme song, and I have a series of lullabies that still do the trick. I can't believe he is almost six months old.

Employment on the Horizon!
So as I mentioned, I have an on-campus interview for the professor job. Here is a little more detailed info... For those of you not accustomed to academia, this interview is likely to last more than a day, meeting with the search committee, a dean, maybe a provost, a group of students, I will have to teach a class, and wine and dine -- TOTALLY intimidating. I have illicited some suggestions from folks who have witnessed and/or participated in the process and a HUGE THANK YOU to you guys. Anyone else reading this who has suggestions please send them on. The interview will take place one of the last two weeks of January. I will be one of three candidates who have an interview at this level.

The position is Assistant Professor, tenure track. It is based in Indianapolis, so Aaron and I took a trip to Indy the other day to get a better feel for the city. The campus is very nice and the school is very small. I really am excited about the possibility of the job. We weren't too enthused about Indianapolis though. I accidentally had us driving through some very questionable areas of the city, and we lost a hub cap too. Sigh. Well first things first, I still need to make it through the interview. The position would begin in the fall -- terrific timing. Sam would already be one year old!!

Other good job news is that I have been offered a position at Purdue for this term -- the term beginning in just two weeks! It is teaching a sculpture class and working as coordinator for the design foundations courses. Great opportunity, but a lot of stress to prep for these in such little time. It's a good transition back to work though -- I won't have to be away from home for long stretches of time and we should be able to pay our bills, so that's good. Purdue has also offered me a course for the summer, so it looks like I will at least have a pay check through August. This type of adjunct lecturer work is never reliable and not paid real well, but it offers lots of home time and is sort of ideal for me in my current situation so I'm feeling really good about it.

I don't expect to hear from the library until next week at the earliest, but I suppose at this point even if they offer the job I cannot accept it. If they invite me for an on-campus interview, I will do the interview though.

Well, as usual, this post is longer than I had hoped it would be. Here are a few pics from recent holiday fun.

Still trying to get a decent family photo. Aaron is doing an impression of a classic Sam face.

Unseasonable warmth after Christmas meant we could take a walk outside! Yipee!

Visiting with Grandpa!

Well Sam looks good in this one...

So Sarah and Mike got a good family portrait with Sam -- not fair!