Unorganized

Today is an officially completely scatterbrained, all-over-the-place, unorganized day. I completely forgot about Sam's playgroup this morning until it was nearly over. I feel like such a bad mom. I didn't really even tell him. Not sure he'd really fully understand but it could only lead to an upset kiddo. Sam loves his Friday playgroup.

And I completely missed this meeting I was supposed to go to this afternoon (in about an hour). I neglected to add it to my calendar when I got the initial notice, so I really didn't know about it until reading a reminder that I JUST got. Sam is down to sleep, Aaron is out of town, I really don't see how I'm gonna make it for the meeting. I don't think there's anyone I could call to drop in last minute like this. I just feel like a mess. And I feel really bad for missing the meeting because I had to miss the last one because of my doctor's appointment. To be fair, the meetings for this committee drive me a bit batty so I won't entirely miss it, but I certainly would have tried to go if I'd been a bit more prepared. And also, it seems worth acknowledging that Fridays I don't go into the office anyway, and I'm the only part time employee on the committee. Everyone else is well-payed people of power and significance. So that means I should get some slack, right? But maybe it also means it's worth it to look more involved. Oh well.

My life these days is so focused on myself and my home that I feel a little out of touch with work. I'm not behind, really, but I am sort of just doing the minimum of what I need to do to get the job done. Maybe that's not entirely true, but it feels a bit that way. I guess even if I am being that way I guess it's not all that bad. Sometimes I think the notion that you should always go above and beyond for your work just results in a lot of wasted energy and stress.

So, I'm home, I guess, and that's that.

And I've been a single mom since Wednesday night, so that adds to my flusteredness (what do you mean that's not a word??). Aaron is off to Boston for an art thing. It's a short trip. A lot of parents do way more single parenting than this. But I rely on Aaron SOOO much for every little thing that pretty much once I reached 24 hours of solo parenting, I sorta hit the wall. Meg and our friend Stephanie helped out though so pretty much I'm just a wimp. Aaron gets home late tonight so that's good. Then I will be installing a show all weekend so I guess it will be his turn at solo parenting for a couple of days. Things just have felt too busy I guess. Though I think after this weekend they'll start to slow down. I hope.

I should go do dishes or laundry or both. But maybe I'll lie down and wallow in my inability to get anything done. I'm in the second trimester, I should have energy now, right?