more talk, still no pics

i know, right? what has this blog become. seriously.

anyway, i know you guys just want pics of the super cute growing boy, but i started this blog to rant and that's what i need it for.

SOOO. they have offered me the job that i interviewed for yesterday. good news, right? well it is, but the pay is lousy, it's a cubicle in a depressing building where they actually play white noise to drown out keyboard clicking and fill eerie silence. the work is monotonous, but at least it's work i pretty much like. the people were nice. but aaron hated his job at this place. but it is a different department. anyway, on the phone the woman who offered me the job said she would see if she can bump up the starting pay and that she would be open to flexing time (like working through lunch hours and stuff) so that's all great news.

so then i decided to ask the library AGAIN what's up with the job. so here it is... i worked for, let's say "Chuck, the librarian". his supervisor is "Sue, the librarian". recently they hired another librarian named "Ellen, the librarian" who reports to Sue. this new position, though it has digital in the name, is not reporting to Chuck, the guy in charge of digital stuff, but rather Ellen. i don't know Ellen well, but reportedly when they were developing this position from MY resume and job description, she seemed to think that wasn't a good idea and that the position should be somebody with a library degree. well, on and on they went creating the position -- again, based on my resume. but the position morphed a little in terms of requirements. they lost a few members of staff and basically took an existing position and morphed it with mine. the requirements say nothing about a library degree, but rather just an associates. anyway, Chuck, Sue, and Ellen all get to go through the applications and pick their top candidates. at which point they will conduct phone interviews and then i suppose follow up in person interviews. right now, they are still going through applications. feeling a bit as though we had all hinted around that this was MY position and that I would be taking it, i felt obliged to tell them of my job offer and inquired as to when they might have a decision regarding their position. basically, i was told that the decision would be up to Ellen, direct supervisor. and though Chuck and Sue would think of me as the ideal candidate, it isn't up to them. WTF?? so Sue proceeded to tell me that it's not up to her, but she would think it would be wise to take this job offered to me, in case the other one isn't offered to me. she wouldn't "want to give me any false hope".

false hope. is there hope that is something other than false?

so when the lady calls back about this new job i guess i'll just accept it. gotta pay the bills somehow.

it will be hard enough to leave sam at home and go to work. especially for a job that makes me feel worthless.

sometimes i feel so trapped. and i do it to myself. sigh.

yes we can...

A note on how the interview went...It went well! Really well I think! I would be slightly surprised if they don't offer the job to me, but not THAT surprised because things have a way of not working out, ha ha. However, the job is decidedly less appealing than the archive job at the library, so I'm still holding out for that one. The pay is almost certain to be less (unless the lib severely disappoints), the classification is less (service vs admin/prof), no office, and the records are less interesting. But the work is interesting enough, and the people are nice enough. And it was just plain good to do an interview. My mouth was all dry when I went in there. Funny how nervous you get for this stuff when you just don't do it much. I think I dressed appropriately, but that was a big concern of mine too. I don't own a suit. I have never really had a suit-type job, nor applied for one. Yet all the etiquette I read is that one should nearly always wear a suit to an interview. You can definitely NOT wear a suit to a number of types of jobs, but it is almost always the safest bet to wear one. So I ordered a cheap JC Penney suit, ha ha. We'll see how it looks. Anyway, for this one I wore a nice sweater and pinstripe slacks and for a job that won't break 30,000/yr where the woman conducting the interview was wearing black nail polish (nothing wrong with black nail polish, I just live in a really conservative area, so I wouldn't expect it -- Meg said it was probably left over from Halloween) -- I think it was an ok choice. We'll see. I'm sure the decision will come down to whether I wore appropriate attire.

Alright, so some brief political notes...

YES we can because YES we did! It was so exciting to see and feel the interest in this election. I don't yet know the numbers for voter turnout, but I did hear that one little area in central Indiana had 75% turnout, whereas previously they usually would see about 35%. That's terrific.

I had started this blog post intending to go on and on about this election and the differences between republican ideology and democratic ideology (as I see it) but realize I have 100 other things to do and those who actually read this blog will not find themselves swayed one way or another by my writing anyway. Maybe once I finish some other tasks I will go ahead and indulge myself in this stuff. We'll see.

And I will post more Sam pics soon. We have some cute little video clips of him playing with stuffed animals and making sounds. He has started to make a new sound that is sorta like blowing raspberries I guess?? It's a "bbbbbbb" with lots of spit between pursed lips. It's super cute. His lump thing is healing and I'm looking forward to talking to the doc about it. I took him off the iron vitamin for a bit and it seems his diaper rash is clearing up -- but that could be different wipes we were using too (made the mistake of changing both at the same time). Anyway, the kid is doing great.

quick thoughts

I have to leave for an interview in like five minutes, but I've been meaning to post. Here's what's new:

I'm going to this interview for an Archival Tech job at the office of the university architect. The interview is pointless. It won't pay better than the lib, the environment won't be as pleasurable, and I highly doubt they'll be flexible with hours. But oh well. Good practice anyway.

Some news about Sam's rear: The lump acted. Here's what I know: I switched to the TriViSol with Iron because that's what they recommended I just accidentally got the non-iron stuff before. So his poop has been strained, green, and now he poops after every feeding again -- weird. Anyway, the first real big iron-fortified poo was indeed big and strained. It made the lump near his bum a little purple and swollen. Then about five hours later he pooped again and it was open. Best comparison I can come up with is like a blister or a pimple. Hemmorhoid?? It still doesn't seem like that to me, but perhaps is my best guess. Anyway, he doesn't seem too bothered by it. We're doing our best to keep it real clean and it's healing up. No blood or anything. We see the doc on the 11th so we'll get her thoughts then, unless the situation changes. If she brushes it off again I suppose we'll see someone else. In the meantime, Sam has his first real case of diaper rash, and I don't know if it's due to new baby wipes or the new wacky poo. I didn't give him his vitamin yesterday.

Well I better run. More to write, so maybe I'll post later. It's election day! Last night felt like Christmas Eve. We're having a party at Meg's.

I'll tell you how the interview goes.

The state of things.

Well I've been a little melancholy. I actually had a phone call with social services. I'm looking to get Sam on the state sponsored health insurance, which I guess is just medicaid. The phone call was part two of the application process. You see, first I fill out a form and mail it in, then they ask me the same questions over the phone. Now they will mail me a packet of more application materials and processes. I feel so weird about all of this. The woman on the phone was coughing in my ear the whole time and being rude when I would ask for clarification. Really she was alright but it just sorta made me feel icky. So if we qualify it will be retroactive, but I wonder if it's even worth it. Sam is currently covered by Aaron's student health insurance and they seem to cover 80% of the med expenses. So that still leaves us a good chunk to pay out of pocket PLUS the cost of insurance, but even if we get the medicaid, it will only work if our health care provider accepts medicaid, and then we can resubmit the charges and get refunded (or at least that's what it sounds like). We will, of course, still be out the cost of the health insurance, and by the time this application gets processed, I might be working and have regular health insurance through my employer. Sigh. I dunno. I guess I'll continue with it because I just don't know what the future will bring. Here I am, using the welfare system. I am 28 years old, I have a bachelor's and master's degree from nationally (if not internationally) recognized institutions and I'm applying for welfare.

Things feel dire a lot of the time. Particulary late at night when I'm so tired I should be sleeping but instead I'm doing something else. But then I look at Sam. He is one little bundle of hope. At the same time I sometimes feel worse because I want so much to do right by him. If I feel like a failure I am now failing him as well as myself.

But I have prospects. The library job should still pull through, though I have no news on that. And I'm applying for that professor position in Indianapolis, but that's probably a bit of a reach. I have an interview on Tuesday for an archival technician position at Purdue's construction department. This is funny because it's the same office Aaron worked at. It's a rather depressing building full of urine colored carpet and cubicle walls, but a job is a job and the more options I can line up the better. I doubt this job pays better than the library job, though, so I'm still expecting to be back at the archives come January. And at least I'd have my own office.

The boy is as cute as ever. Here is the proof:

Nuthin'

So I apologize for lack of blog entries but I guess I haven't found much I felt like talking about. Here is a quick update with what's going on with us, though, and some pics...

Sam is still getting bigger. He's really starting to use his hands now, and that's sooo fun. We have started a nighttime routine of bath before bed (not using soap that often) and this seems to work great for getting him to sleep without much fuss. Problem is he gives his long stretch of sleep then and I usually stay up for a couple of hours so by the time I get to bed he starts waking up every 2-3 hours it seems. It may even be 3-4 but lately it's feeling like I'm awake a lot of the night. Sigh. I guess this will pass so I might as well not worry about it. I should get to bed earlier but I have started to like some time at night for some non-baby time. Though I start to miss him while he's sleeping and have to go take a look at him every so often.

I have been sort of coming down from all of the company. All of a sudden it seems I've been entertaining for the past three months!! But it's been great to have all of you visit. It makes me feel loved, even though I know who you really came to see, ha ha. Aaron's sister passed through on her way to Colorado Tuesday night, and my sister will be here tomorrow night.

Still no real job news. I applied for the position and I think the odds are still in my favor, but it probably won't progress for a couple of weeks. My department is currently in the middle of moving to a new space so that will inevitably slow things down.

There is also an Asst Prof in Art position opening in a small university in Indy. It's tenure track too. Anyway, I think I'll go ahead and apply though I'm not sure I'm the ideal candidate.

So that's it for now. Will post after the weekend I think.

Here's the boy...

Visitors

I'm tired and should go take a nap while Sam is sleeping, but here's a quick update...

I had a terrific visit with my Aunt Sally and I'm glad she had a chance to see baby Sam. She left on Friday. Saturday my Aunt Anne arrived. We had a nice time going out to dinner, and then to breakfast this morning, and now she's on her way back to Ann Arbor. I got to see her son Charlie and pics of her daughter Alice -- I used to babysit Alice when she was still in diapers and now she's 11!! Wow. And Charlie pointed out that when Sam is 15 he'll be 30. Crazy how time works.

Anyway, here are a few pics from the recent visits. Tomorrow Aaron's sister will be through on her move out to Colorado. Everyone is moving to Colorado. Either Colorado or Oregon. Have you noticed this too?

Aunt Sally

Aunt Anne

Final Debate Party!

So for every presidential and vice presidential debate party we get together at Meg's for some great food and political discourse -- or bs anyway. This time we had an amazing meal thanks to Aunt Sally! Alaskan clams and salmon...mmm mmm good. I also made potato bread for the first time, and I decided to use a sweet potato. And Aunt Sally was inspired by Stephanie's blog and made a swedish apple pie. All in all, we just had tons and tons of amazing food. Yummmmm. Thanks Aunt Sally!

Also, the debate was actually much more entertaining than I expected. I really liked the format and the moderating was great. That's all I'll say about politics. Now to the pics!!

Clam Chowder...mmm

Swedish Apple Pie!

Sweet Potato Bread!

Sam is grabbing things more and more too. Yea use of hands!! Still no real rolling. On his back he often rolls to his side, and ONE time I put him on his tummy and he promptly rolled to his back, but never again... We'll get there, little buddy, we'll get there!