So last night, or this morning, or something, my contractions felt more intense and cramp like. This morning, I passed some mucus plug. Yeah. Gross to write but whatever, I realized I liked the log I had with my previous pregnancy so some details will now ensue. It had more blood this time. Contractions have remained PAINFUL today but are short, and far apart. Very far apart sometimes.
Recently, I have had a series of potentially timeable very painful contractions. I have been somewhat active after a long afternoon nap though (doing yardwork). I have tried to remain hydrated but now I'm sitting on the couch drinking water so we'll see if they just fizzle out.
False alarms and false labor seem to be a lot of what's going on with me right now, but I can say that I really think he has dropped. The pressure is low. The contractions have changed because now I really must stop what I'm doing to deal with them. I didn't have contractions like this with Sam's pregnancy until it was the real thing. But the contractions are still very far apart and sometimes just 30 seconds.
Well, I'll keep an eye out and of course keep the blog updated. We may still have weeks to go. Or. You know. It could happen any minute.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
I'm watching every contraction. They are stronger. They last 30 - 45 seconds. They sometimes make me feel flush, or winded, or a little light in the head. They are crampy but not painful. Last night I had a series of them about 10 - 20 minutes apart. I thought it might mean something, so I hurried to bed to try to get some rest in case the real thing was about to happen (it was about 12:30 am). I did get to sleep after foolishly focusing on every muscle in my abdomen and keeping one eye on the clock. I woke to Sam freaking out about a stuffy nose. I ended up sitting with him on the couch for a while until he relaxed and could get back to sleep. I was grumpy and impatient with him. We eventually all got back to sleep in the same bed. I slept until 9 am. I guess it wasn't labor. But it was a reminder of newborn sleep. I need to work on my patience.
So I just re-read my old blog entries for the couple of weeks prior to Sam's birth. I keep thinking this pregnancy feels so different. And now that these contractions are gaining more ooomph I keep feeling that must mean that this baby will arrive sooner than Sam did. I couldn't be more wrong. So many of the sensations I'm feeling seem nearly identical to the first time, yet they feel brand new again. During my pregnancy with Sam, I talk for weeks about the contractions gaining in intensity: stronger, crampier, timeable. It didn't mean labor was about to happen or not. Just one day, it was time, I guess. So I still could be looking at two weeks, or more, or whatever. Or maybe it really will happen tonight. I don't want to obsess about it. But I don't know how not to. I'm pretty sure I've got at least something close to a week now, after reading about my previous pregnancy, but I also know that doesn't mean anything either.
Bah. It's time for more distractions. Maybe I shouldn't have taken time off of work before the baby arrived.
Well, here is Sam doing cute things like an Easter egg hunt and dressing up as a super hero.
So I just re-read my old blog entries for the couple of weeks prior to Sam's birth. I keep thinking this pregnancy feels so different. And now that these contractions are gaining more ooomph I keep feeling that must mean that this baby will arrive sooner than Sam did. I couldn't be more wrong. So many of the sensations I'm feeling seem nearly identical to the first time, yet they feel brand new again. During my pregnancy with Sam, I talk for weeks about the contractions gaining in intensity: stronger, crampier, timeable. It didn't mean labor was about to happen or not. Just one day, it was time, I guess. So I still could be looking at two weeks, or more, or whatever. Or maybe it really will happen tonight. I don't want to obsess about it. But I don't know how not to. I'm pretty sure I've got at least something close to a week now, after reading about my previous pregnancy, but I also know that doesn't mean anything either.
Bah. It's time for more distractions. Maybe I shouldn't have taken time off of work before the baby arrived.
Well, here is Sam doing cute things like an Easter egg hunt and dressing up as a super hero.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Getting closer
Our big guy! (He often calls himself "big guy" -- "watch out! big guy coming through!" or explains things he's doing with "that's what big guys do")
Going to the park in his little car with Aunt Meg. A chilly spring morning.
Wax crayon for Easter eggs!
Sam's first time dying Easter eggs. He loves hard boiled eggs so he thought it was pretty neat. We just did a few since he gets bored easily these days. Here I am 38 weeks pregnant. You cannot see the belly in all it's giant glory.
Easter eggs.
Belly shot from a couple of weeks ago.
Sometimes candid belly shots are most revealing. Here Sam and I are "dancing" (usually ends up meaning running) to the Footloose soundtrack.
I just wanted to share some pictures FINALLY. So there you have it.
This has been a nice weekend. Aaron totally spoiled me yesterday -- let me sleep in late, made me waffles. I had to work in the afternoon, but after that we went out to dinner (just the two of us! I gorged on Indian food) and we watched a movie. It was rejuvenating. I'm still sick but it was just what I needed. Today was lazy for me (though I have plenty I should be doing) and included a big breakfast, Easter egg dying, playing at the park, and a barbecue. Tonight I've had some fantastic contractions that are nice and strong, a little crampy, and even made me feel a little weak/light headed. But they are few and far between. I could still have weeks waiting for the little one to arrive.
I am 38 weeks today. Sam was born at just over 41 weeks. No matter how you look at it, we are close.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
ugh.
Yeah. So I caught it. I'm sick AGAIN. I'm super tired. I'm congested. I never finished being congested from the first bug. I don't know if it's allergies. Hard to ever know. I never used to have them but allergies can come whenever they want so it could have been/could be allergies for all I know.
Sam is starting to finally kick his second cold. It's been a week. Unfortunately, his cold made his appetite very low, and about all he would eat was fruit. And we were trying to push fluids so he drank too much juice. So now he has terrible diarrhea. So that's been FUN. for everyone. At least Aaron and I are thrown back into the mix of cleaning messes from bodily fluids and running constant loads of laundry. We'll be doing that in a month anyway so I guess this is a crash course.
We're sort of ready for the new guy. Sort of not. Still probably have a few weeks to go and I think we'll be ready for him when he arrives. I already am ready in many ways, and can't be ready in many other ways.
Ok. I'm totally tired. Gonna throw on a comfort movie and try to sleep propped up on the couch.
By the way -- I got some breathe right strips (store knock off) and they are awful. Am I just not using them right? Does anyone use these? I have been sleeping with a cough drop in my mouth for like three weeks now and I know that is not a wise move. Sigh.
Sam is starting to finally kick his second cold. It's been a week. Unfortunately, his cold made his appetite very low, and about all he would eat was fruit. And we were trying to push fluids so he drank too much juice. So now he has terrible diarrhea. So that's been FUN. for everyone. At least Aaron and I are thrown back into the mix of cleaning messes from bodily fluids and running constant loads of laundry. We'll be doing that in a month anyway so I guess this is a crash course.
We're sort of ready for the new guy. Sort of not. Still probably have a few weeks to go and I think we'll be ready for him when he arrives. I already am ready in many ways, and can't be ready in many other ways.
Ok. I'm totally tired. Gonna throw on a comfort movie and try to sleep propped up on the couch.
By the way -- I got some breathe right strips (store knock off) and they are awful. Am I just not using them right? Does anyone use these? I have been sleeping with a cough drop in my mouth for like three weeks now and I know that is not a wise move. Sigh.
Friday, April 8, 2011
sick. again.
Sam is sick again! How does this happen?? We were very fortunate to avoid illness nearly completely during his first two years of life so I guess we are just getting our share now. Parenting a sick kid? Hard stuff. This time he has a lot of mucus that has resulted in a nasty cough and stuffy/runny nose. He refuses to try to blow his nose or cough up/spit the mucus out, so he's miserable. He's running a low fever. He's tired. Days are spent on the couch watching movies. We opted not to go to the doc today so I sure hope it doesn't get worse and land us in urgent care or ER or whatever since it's the weekend.
Just a couple of days and I can say I'm to term. 37 weeks. Officially an ok go time. I told myself I was not going to count down the weeks and days, but whatever, I am anyway. I plan to work two more weeks and then start my maternity leave. I'm looking forward to that. I feel like I've fumbled my way through work all semester. Total insecurities about my performance at work. Feel like I haven't met goals, things are all over the place. I am really anxious to reorganize and get in control. In reality, I don't think anything is nearly as far gone as I thought and that I'm just consistently faced with the fact that the job requires more than the allotted hours. Because of the pregnancy and it being Aaron's last semester, I think that I'm operating a bit slower and I'm not able to put in the extra effort and time that I have the previous two semesters. And it shows. I don't know if it shows to everyone. I'm sure it shows to some. Anyway it just doesn't feel good. Oh well, I can't be a superwoman I guess.
I'm excited for the baby to come. I want to meet him. I want to hold him. I want to even go through the birth. I know it will be hard and healing will be hard and there may be unexpected negative aspects to the whole thing, but the truth is, I look back at giving birth to Sam and it is a positive, warm, happy memory. Not a grueling, painful, struggle. This is the magic that kids have, I guess. And we toured the new hospital this week. It's very nice and new and comfortable.
Sam has been dozing on the couch. Woke up coughing a few minutes ago. He just turned down ice cream. I guess things are in sad shape. (And the bowl of ice cream is sitting on my belly. I officially have a pregnant belly that operates like a table or shelf. awesome.)
Just a couple of days and I can say I'm to term. 37 weeks. Officially an ok go time. I told myself I was not going to count down the weeks and days, but whatever, I am anyway. I plan to work two more weeks and then start my maternity leave. I'm looking forward to that. I feel like I've fumbled my way through work all semester. Total insecurities about my performance at work. Feel like I haven't met goals, things are all over the place. I am really anxious to reorganize and get in control. In reality, I don't think anything is nearly as far gone as I thought and that I'm just consistently faced with the fact that the job requires more than the allotted hours. Because of the pregnancy and it being Aaron's last semester, I think that I'm operating a bit slower and I'm not able to put in the extra effort and time that I have the previous two semesters. And it shows. I don't know if it shows to everyone. I'm sure it shows to some. Anyway it just doesn't feel good. Oh well, I can't be a superwoman I guess.
I'm excited for the baby to come. I want to meet him. I want to hold him. I want to even go through the birth. I know it will be hard and healing will be hard and there may be unexpected negative aspects to the whole thing, but the truth is, I look back at giving birth to Sam and it is a positive, warm, happy memory. Not a grueling, painful, struggle. This is the magic that kids have, I guess. And we toured the new hospital this week. It's very nice and new and comfortable.
Sam has been dozing on the couch. Woke up coughing a few minutes ago. He just turned down ice cream. I guess things are in sad shape. (And the bowl of ice cream is sitting on my belly. I officially have a pregnant belly that operates like a table or shelf. awesome.)
Saturday, March 26, 2011
sick
I've been sick for twelve days now. It actually is getting better, finally.
It's hard being sick. And pregnant. Especially when your toddler is sick. And all winter has been a bit of a wallowing self-pity sort of winter. I am full of worry, anxiety, lethargy. There are day snow where the sun peeks out from behind the clouds. The snow has been gone for a while, though we do occasionally spot flakes in the air. We even had days where the temperature got close to 70. Spring is on its way. This upcoming week, however, will be limited to 40 degree highs I guess. Sigh.
Work is ok, but I missed a week being sick and then struggled through with cloudy sick head and limited hours, and blowing my nose and coughing, and probably freaking everybody out. But the truth is, if you're a one-man-band you can't just not go get the work done. There is no backup plan, because there is no one to back you up. This isn't entirely true of my situation, I did delegate as well as I was able and I did limit my hours, but still you could tell people were inconvenience by my sickness (or you could tell if you're a self-involved, self-pitying, anxious, sick, pregnant woman).
I worry. About anything I guess. And then I read an article about how if you're worried/stressed during pregnancy you are more likely to have anxiety-prone children. Why would anyone publish an article like that in a parenting magazine? How is that not supposed to make the anxiety-prone mother full of anxiety about burdening her unborn child with anxiety? So current worries are medicines. I take acetaminophen every once in a while if I have pain. I take some antacids when the heartburn gets strong. But other than that, it's prenatal vitamin. I avoided cold/flu meds. I finally went to the doctor last Tuesday and they prescribed a Robitussin with codeine. They said it was level B (same as acetaminophen). Everything I read said it was level C, but both doctor and pharmacist said B. Who do I trust? Probably best to trust doc and pharmacist and not internet research, but how do I know? And level C is the nice gray area that is basically: "we don't know that it causes problems, but we don't have tests to say it doesn't. take if benefits outweigh the risks." But how do you know? How do you know what the risks are? Or the benefits? Well, I did take 1/2 teaspoon twice on separate nights. It didn't really help anyway. But it leads to worry. Am I unwittingly doing something harmful to my unborn child? And even nutritionally, or anything else. This time I am not watching everything. I slip up and have some kind of food I'm not supposed to. I miss a prenatal vitamin. What if I'm setting him up for some permanent struggles and I have no idea about it! I love being a mother, but mother guilt is really rough. And what about me being sick... could that be affecting him too?
And my new worry today is preschool. Sam will be three this summer. We were hoping he was going to be able to do preschool at the place he does his playgroup. It sounded positive but Friday Aaron found out he's an "alternate". They don't have specific rhyme or reason to tell you why or why not a child is selected. They are limited spots and they can pretty much just pick and choose whoever they want. So they didn't pick him. It stings a bit like whenever you don't get picked for something. How could they not pick my child? How could they not pick me? Because I think it will be a constant lesson to understand that my child is not me and these situations do not have a lot to do with who I am or who my son is either.
So that leaves us in a gray area, where we so often are. Sam will be three. All of his friends are in preschool. Should he be in preschool? I do not think a three-year-old must be in preschool, but I do think there are things that a preschool offers him that I do not (cannot?) offer. And now it's getting late to sign up. But Aaron is finishing school. Future employment is unsure. We don't know what we'll be able to afford. We don't know that we'll be here. Hmm...
What do you think, moms who may still read this... Pros and cons about preschool at 3? So you know, we're talking two or three days a week. Classes are just a few hours.
Hmm...
Maybe I shouldn't sweat it and just try to have more structured activities for him. That is what I think he benefits from. Having a special thing to go do. People to interact with. There are a number of activities available we don't currently take advantage of...
one more hmm....
It's hard being sick. And pregnant. Especially when your toddler is sick. And all winter has been a bit of a wallowing self-pity sort of winter. I am full of worry, anxiety, lethargy. There are day snow where the sun peeks out from behind the clouds. The snow has been gone for a while, though we do occasionally spot flakes in the air. We even had days where the temperature got close to 70. Spring is on its way. This upcoming week, however, will be limited to 40 degree highs I guess. Sigh.
Work is ok, but I missed a week being sick and then struggled through with cloudy sick head and limited hours, and blowing my nose and coughing, and probably freaking everybody out. But the truth is, if you're a one-man-band you can't just not go get the work done. There is no backup plan, because there is no one to back you up. This isn't entirely true of my situation, I did delegate as well as I was able and I did limit my hours, but still you could tell people were inconvenience by my sickness (or you could tell if you're a self-involved, self-pitying, anxious, sick, pregnant woman).
I worry. About anything I guess. And then I read an article about how if you're worried/stressed during pregnancy you are more likely to have anxiety-prone children. Why would anyone publish an article like that in a parenting magazine? How is that not supposed to make the anxiety-prone mother full of anxiety about burdening her unborn child with anxiety? So current worries are medicines. I take acetaminophen every once in a while if I have pain. I take some antacids when the heartburn gets strong. But other than that, it's prenatal vitamin. I avoided cold/flu meds. I finally went to the doctor last Tuesday and they prescribed a Robitussin with codeine. They said it was level B (same as acetaminophen). Everything I read said it was level C, but both doctor and pharmacist said B. Who do I trust? Probably best to trust doc and pharmacist and not internet research, but how do I know? And level C is the nice gray area that is basically: "we don't know that it causes problems, but we don't have tests to say it doesn't. take if benefits outweigh the risks." But how do you know? How do you know what the risks are? Or the benefits? Well, I did take 1/2 teaspoon twice on separate nights. It didn't really help anyway. But it leads to worry. Am I unwittingly doing something harmful to my unborn child? And even nutritionally, or anything else. This time I am not watching everything. I slip up and have some kind of food I'm not supposed to. I miss a prenatal vitamin. What if I'm setting him up for some permanent struggles and I have no idea about it! I love being a mother, but mother guilt is really rough. And what about me being sick... could that be affecting him too?
And my new worry today is preschool. Sam will be three this summer. We were hoping he was going to be able to do preschool at the place he does his playgroup. It sounded positive but Friday Aaron found out he's an "alternate". They don't have specific rhyme or reason to tell you why or why not a child is selected. They are limited spots and they can pretty much just pick and choose whoever they want. So they didn't pick him. It stings a bit like whenever you don't get picked for something. How could they not pick my child? How could they not pick me? Because I think it will be a constant lesson to understand that my child is not me and these situations do not have a lot to do with who I am or who my son is either.
So that leaves us in a gray area, where we so often are. Sam will be three. All of his friends are in preschool. Should he be in preschool? I do not think a three-year-old must be in preschool, but I do think there are things that a preschool offers him that I do not (cannot?) offer. And now it's getting late to sign up. But Aaron is finishing school. Future employment is unsure. We don't know what we'll be able to afford. We don't know that we'll be here. Hmm...
What do you think, moms who may still read this... Pros and cons about preschool at 3? So you know, we're talking two or three days a week. Classes are just a few hours.
Hmm...
Maybe I shouldn't sweat it and just try to have more structured activities for him. That is what I think he benefits from. Having a special thing to go do. People to interact with. There are a number of activities available we don't currently take advantage of...
one more hmm....
Friday, March 4, 2011
tired and stuff like that
Aaron passed his defense yesterday! Super early in the semester so it's kind of weird, but still, very cool to have that taken care of. He still needs to finish his paper, his video screening is tonight, and he still has coursework and classes he's teaching, but this will be a big weight off his (and our) shoulders. Yay Aaron! Congratulations!
That has made for an exhausting week, coupled with our computer dying right at the crucial moments of him finalizing some video stuff. Ugh. This meant multiple sleepless nights, but we did the impulsive run to Best Buy and just bought the computer they suggested. So far, no complaints, but it may have been a bit hasty. Still, in doing so, Aaron recovered his files (hard drive in old computer was ok and we got everything back) and he's back on track. With all of that going on, work remains a bit demanding, and I've had new pregnancy symptoms. Light-headedness.
Ok, so at my last midwife appt I met with the new midwife. I like her fine, though I like my regular midwife more, but either one could be on call when the big day comes, so I want to get to know both of them. Anyway, she mentioned that they found sugar and ketones in my urine from the previous visit, but I hadn't had an opportunity to eat really well that day and it was the day of my glucose test and I think I left the sample after taking the glucose stuff. But my bloodwork all came back great. Then I told her how I had this varicose vein. Then she decided to tell me about all the warning signs of pre-eclampsia. At the time I wasn't concerned. Didn't think much of it. My urine from that day's visit was fine. But after I left, I started replaying everything she said, and I started to feel like she was hinting that maybe I was showing early signs of just possibly having pre-eclampsia. Late night google searching got me paranoid.
So then this week I've been feeling faint. Having dizzy spells. Well I guess really just being light-headed. I really didn't have that with my first pregnancy. It just seemed to be continuing. Throughout the day and at random times. So, after having one of these spells, I decided to call the nurse. She said to go home from work, lie on my side, drink lots of fluids and see the midwife ASAP. Eeeek! Maybe there WAS something wrong! I finally was able to leave work, finally went to the midwife, and all was fine. Sheesh. I still feel light headed though so I guess it's just one more joy of being pregnant.
So I'm ok, Aaron is ok, and we're starting to get our house back to normal. If anyone were to stop by right now you'd see the evidence of our crazy week(s), that's for sure.
In closing, some cute Sam stuff:
Sam talks in his sleep sometimes. I was sleeping with him in his bed and I heard him saying "ok, baby brother, dip your chicken in the barbecue...now chew chew chew chew" -- or something like that! He was dreaming that he was teaching his brother how to eat! Oh man, and then he said something else to his baby brother, but I forget what...he was teaching him something else. Darn. I should have written it down right away. OH! he said "play with me, baby brother! play with me!" So Sam is looking forward to his new partner in crime.
That has made for an exhausting week, coupled with our computer dying right at the crucial moments of him finalizing some video stuff. Ugh. This meant multiple sleepless nights, but we did the impulsive run to Best Buy and just bought the computer they suggested. So far, no complaints, but it may have been a bit hasty. Still, in doing so, Aaron recovered his files (hard drive in old computer was ok and we got everything back) and he's back on track. With all of that going on, work remains a bit demanding, and I've had new pregnancy symptoms. Light-headedness.
Ok, so at my last midwife appt I met with the new midwife. I like her fine, though I like my regular midwife more, but either one could be on call when the big day comes, so I want to get to know both of them. Anyway, she mentioned that they found sugar and ketones in my urine from the previous visit, but I hadn't had an opportunity to eat really well that day and it was the day of my glucose test and I think I left the sample after taking the glucose stuff. But my bloodwork all came back great. Then I told her how I had this varicose vein. Then she decided to tell me about all the warning signs of pre-eclampsia. At the time I wasn't concerned. Didn't think much of it. My urine from that day's visit was fine. But after I left, I started replaying everything she said, and I started to feel like she was hinting that maybe I was showing early signs of just possibly having pre-eclampsia. Late night google searching got me paranoid.
So then this week I've been feeling faint. Having dizzy spells. Well I guess really just being light-headed. I really didn't have that with my first pregnancy. It just seemed to be continuing. Throughout the day and at random times. So, after having one of these spells, I decided to call the nurse. She said to go home from work, lie on my side, drink lots of fluids and see the midwife ASAP. Eeeek! Maybe there WAS something wrong! I finally was able to leave work, finally went to the midwife, and all was fine. Sheesh. I still feel light headed though so I guess it's just one more joy of being pregnant.
So I'm ok, Aaron is ok, and we're starting to get our house back to normal. If anyone were to stop by right now you'd see the evidence of our crazy week(s), that's for sure.
In closing, some cute Sam stuff:
Sam talks in his sleep sometimes. I was sleeping with him in his bed and I heard him saying "ok, baby brother, dip your chicken in the barbecue...now chew chew chew chew" -- or something like that! He was dreaming that he was teaching his brother how to eat! Oh man, and then he said something else to his baby brother, but I forget what...he was teaching him something else. Darn. I should have written it down right away. OH! he said "play with me, baby brother! play with me!" So Sam is looking forward to his new partner in crime.
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